You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter explain why you would like the job give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #job #person #time #australia

Dear Mr Ashoorian I am writing

this

letter regarding to vacancy announcement in Sydney Australian magazine you have a babysitter or nanny who

lives

Wrong verb form

has lived

show examples

with family for six months. I am interested in looking after your child and living at your home . To elaborate on why I am appropriate for

this

job,I have vast knowledge about behavioural and psychology and nutritional requirements,since,I was studying at university in paediatrics,

besides

,I can play with children,

moreover

Change the capitalization

show examples

can be ready to look for children over the two years . During my leisure time at the weekend,I like to learn tennis professionally,

further

,I plan to visit the Canberra Museum to collect and familiarise myself with culture and traditions,

also

,I love nature and

therefore

I would visit forests to discover new places. will look forward to your reply,please feel free to contact me if you need any questions or concerns,I can provide you will all my documents after your consideration . Yours sincerely, Pardis Ghobadi

Submitted by pardisghobadi on Sat Sep 28 2024

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task achievement

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and professionalism. For example, 'you have a babysitter or nanny who lives with family for six months' should be 'to have a babysitter or nanny who will live with your family for six months.'

task achievement

It is important to maintain formal tone and avoid overly casual language. For instance, 'besides' could be replaced with 'in addition.'

task achievement

The letter addresses all three required points: explaining why you want the job, detailing why you are suitable, and explaining how you would spend your free time.

coherence cohesion

The letter has a clear structure and uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas.

coherence cohesion

The closing remark is polite and adequately rounds off the letter, creating a positive lasting impression.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment

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