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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history rather than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #history #world
Nowadays, there are several
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
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 of thoughts about
chidren's
Correct your spelling
children's
 consideration
towards
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of
show examples
history
. While a
gorup
Correct your spelling
group
 of
people
cliams
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claims
 that world
history
 should be learners' concern, I fully hold that
students
 must gain a deeper insight into their local background since it helps them to boost their social roles in societies.
Correct your spelling
From
show examples
Form
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From
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 my perspective, there are some reasons that
children
 should be taught about regional
history
.
Firstly
,
such
 an attitude will assist them to promote a
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 of national and regional identity.
This
 is because many stories that are related to a particular area are full of
events
 that act
an
Change preposition
as an
show examples
 incentive for
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation to get involved in social matters.
For example
, in Iran's
history
Add a comma
,history
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 there are numerous
events
,
such
 as
Rome
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the Rome
show examples
 occupation, that inspire young
people
 to sign up in their army since
such
people
 are motivated to defend their values against any enemies.
Therefore
. studying
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
local
history
 in schools can have significant influences on
children
's mind when they reach adulthood.
Moreover
, the aforementioned approach not
noly
Correct your spelling
only
 strengthen the
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 of patriotism among
children
, but
also
 may help them to acquire a deeper understanding of their own cultures. It means that regional
history
 has the power to present the
events
 and customs that are alien to
students
. More
presicely
Correct your spelling
precisely
,
minority
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a minority
the minority
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 of schoolchildren have an exhaustive knowledge about Norouz ceremonies in Iran since many of them deem that
such
events
 are just for giving and receiving gifts. But, What these
students
 fail to see is that the main concept of Norouz customs is enriching social values and morals , among which are respect and honesty.
Thus
, learning historical background will lead
children
 to assimilate into their culture and embrace ethical beliefs more easily. Despite that, a number of
people
asserts
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assert
show examples
 that understanding global
history
 is an
essentail
Correct your spelling
essential
 element in
schoolchildren
Add an article
the schoolchildren
show examples
 learning process since it may assist them to communicate with other societies when they get older.
Nevertheless
,
this
 group of individuals have failed to consider the role of internal
history
 because
students
 without studying their own
haritage
Correct your spelling
heritage
 are not able to absorb
foreigner
Replace the word
foreign
show examples
 stories. In conclusion,
although
 some
people
 are in favour of teaching
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 past stories to
students
, I contend that
children
 in
oder
Correct your spelling
order
 to improve their cultural
indentity
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identity
 are required to
rise
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raise
show examples
 their knowledge about their ancestors.
Submitted by Masoud on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • heritage
  • cultural identity
  • ancestry
  • traditions
  • globalization
  • empathy
  • contemporary issues
  • integrate
  • perspective
  • civilization
  • diversity
  • innovations
  • historical significance
  • nationalism
  • cosmopolitanism
  • historiography
  • geopolitical
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