IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some cultures value elderly people more while other cultures value the youth more discuss both approaches and give your own opinion

#cultures #value #people #youth #approaches
Nowadays, there are various views about culture’s attention towards generations. while one school of thought believes that the old generation should receive more respect, others assert that cultures are required to be focused on young
people
.
This
 essay will discuss both attitudes about cultural attention. On the one hand, in many ,
societies
 elderly
people
 have a
high-level
Correct your spelling
high level
show examples
 of regards for citizens because aged
members
 can provide the
societies
 with valuable experiences.
In other words
, different groups of
people
 in a particular society can benefit from the knowledge and values that old
people
 have gained during their life.
For example
, in Japan, the government use aged
members
 as supervisors since
such
 individuals are armed with irreplaceable experiences from the past. These
people
 are capable of advising young
members
 to act efficiently in their workplace while showing more tolerance in their personal life.
Thus
, nations by valuing old
people
 are able to extract merits from the existence of
such
people
 in their
societies
.
On the other hand
, it is claimed
that is
 a beneficial element of society so government should pay more heed to their presence.
This
 is because
such
members
 in a society have the potential to commence new activities that be profitable for a nation. More precisely, European
countries
 are suffering from the lack of young population,
therefore
, the powers that be are trying to highlight young
people
’s in their
societies
 in order to attract more skilful employees into their
countries
 as immigrants. The mentioned approach in long term is an essential factor for many
countries
 since it may assist them to benefit from an adept workforce in many areas. In conclusion,
although
 a number of individuals are in the favour of respecting the young generation, I contend that the aged population can be deemed as a precious source of knowledge for
countries
 when they need advice in different areas
Submitted by Masoud on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: