In order to cover the increasing cost of expenses, more and more people work very long shifts and have two or more jobs. give your opinion whether the advantages of working very long hours or having more than one job outweigh the disadvantages.

In
this
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rapidly increasing economy, an increasing number of people prefer to work extra
hours
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or multiple
jobs
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just to pay for the cost of their expenditures. In my view, it is obvious that
,
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it can cause detrimental effects on humans and people face difficulties maintaining work-life balance. In
this
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essay, I will prove my inclination with suitable explanations. On the one hand,
although
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longer shifts and more
jobs
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can generate additional income, it can have harmful effects on people's lives. The first major drawback is that
such
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individuals are not able to manage a balance between work and life activities.
This
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means that they spend the majority of their time working and earning money for their families, and
hence
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cannot spare time to enjoy leisure activities with their loved ones.
This
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results in mental stress and depression in one's life. Another major drawback is that they are compromising
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their physical health by working more than 40
hours
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per week.
This
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is to say that, extended
hours
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of work either require them to stand for longer periods of time or sit in front of the computers which can harm their knees, back or eyes in the long run.
On the other hand
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, despite those limitations, there are some possible benefits to
this
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practice. Perhaps the first one is,
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this
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that this
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additional income can foster a better lifestyle and a promising future for their children. Another advantage is that they can achieve financial independence faster by working on two or three
jobs
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in a week.
However
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,
this
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can be achieved by focusing on higher-income
jobs
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rather than working extra
hours
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or multiple
jobs
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on base salaries.
To conclude
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, having considered both aspects, it seems to me that we lose more than we gain from working extra.
Instead
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, we should focus on improving our skills to earn more competitive wages.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the essay. However, make sure to include a clear thesis statement that indicates the main points you will discuss.
Task Achievement
In the body paragraphs, try to develop your ideas further by adding more details or examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphs are well-structured, but it's important to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. This will help guide the reader through your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your points well, but you can make it stronger by briefly restating why the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion throughout the essay, and your main ideas are relevant to the topic.
Task Achievement
Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic, considering both sides before concluding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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