Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that art is equally essential as other subjects,
such
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as math and science, to be taught in the early schooling period. I agree with
this
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notion as the art class, like drama, introduces children to more soft skills and broader career options.
First,
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theatre teaches students about soft skills, which are not enforced by the other lessons. Math and science focus more on theory and critical thinking, yet they often lack the concept of cooperation and sympathy.
On the other hand
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, theatre activities encourage children during the process of producing a show.
For instance
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, children are proven to be more outgoing after being involved in the production of a play. On a day-to-day basis, they have started to showcase a sense of sympathy in helping their peers to achieve collective goals.
In addition
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, famous theatrical plays,
such
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as traditional folklore, tend to present moral takeaways we all can pick up.
Furthermore
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, teaching
such
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a class can
also
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expose pupils to explore more career options. They are mostly encouraged to focus on conventional jobs, like doctors and policemen.
However
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, if studied seriously,
this
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kind of expertise can
also
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lead a valuable success.
For example
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, Juilliard graduates can unlock the door to opportunities to become high-paying actors or actresses in Broadway and Hollywood.
To conclude
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, I agree that art classes are as important as other school subjects. Introducing them in the primary years of schooling exposes pupils to learn soft skills,
such
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as cooperation and sympathy.
Moreover
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, it
also
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provides a room for students to explore unconventional career prospects, which other disciplines may not offer.

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task achievement
You can improve by adding more details in your introduction to present your main points clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas more smoothly for better flow in the essay.
task achievement
Use examples that are more directly linked to your discussion points for stronger support.
task achievement
The points made about soft skills and career options are interesting and relevant.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of examples such as Juilliard and theatre activities.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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