IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Transport delays and long journey times are widespread phenomenon in many cities today. What are the cause of problem, and how could the situation be improved

#transport #delays #journey #times #phenomenon #cities #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary world,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 is
creasing
Correct your spelling
creating
show examples
 more and more. Simultaneously, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 commuting
also
Linking Words
 boost. From
this
Linking Words
 point,
transport
Use synonyms
 delays happen
that is
Linking Words
 the reason why the long journey times come to pass in a wide range of
cities
Use synonyms
 nowadays. There are a
number
Use synonyms
 of reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted to solve the issues.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
inhabitant
Change to a plural noun
inhabitants
show examples
 who
migrate
Change the verb form
migrates
show examples
 to some
center-
Change the spelling
centre-cities
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 lead to high-intensity population. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
vehicle
Change to a plural noun
vehicles
show examples
 and public
transport
Use synonyms
 dramatically increasing to meet the demand of commuting for working and studying. From
this
Linking Words
 point, traffic jam happens to give rise to make long-journey on rush hours.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of inhabitant in some
cities
Use synonyms
 tends to purchase a great deal of
vehicle
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as private car or motorbike to
use
Use synonyms
 as well as they do not tend to commute by public
transport
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, when they travel by certain
vehicle
Use synonyms
 lead to
need
Change the verb form
needing
show examples
 more space to
use
Use synonyms
 on the street.
However
Linking Words
, it is not adequate facilities to meet.
For example
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Vietnam which is the country
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the highest
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
Add an article
a motorbike
the motorbike
show examples
motorbike
Fix the agreement mistake
motorbikes
show examples
 to travel. They choose the motorbike to go,
Linking Words
instead
Add the preposition
ofinstead
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 to reducing the space on the street.
This
Linking Words
 is
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
 why
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
 jam problem is happening on a daily basis. And the journey is stretched out. Turning to possible solutions, the government need to have
policy
Change the article
the policy
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
private
Add an article
the private
a private
show examples
vehicle
Use synonyms
 in each
households
Change to a singular noun
household
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as reducing the
number
Use synonyms
 of private
vehicle
Use synonyms
 in each family which have one or two
Use synonyms
vehicle
Change to a plural noun
vehicles
show examples
 to commute.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Encouraging the citizens
Use synonyms
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 more , the government is able to decrease the ticket price when they
Use synonyms
use
Correct pronoun usage
ituse
show examples
. The school provide more large bus to
transport
Use synonyms
 the students to reduce the space on rush hours aim to the long-term travel reduce.
In addition
Linking Words
, the facilities need to improve. Take the example of, building some
transport
Use synonyms
 systems more
such
Linking Words
 as open the road bigger as well as the metro will be built more in some
cities
Use synonyms
 in order to meet the demand of travelling. Overall, the main problem caused is both social life and financial in some
cities
Use synonyms
 , and the solutions should involve coordinated individuals and the state.
Submitted by caomyphuong3004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: