IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. this has negative effects on family and society. To what extend you agree or disagree?

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International fast
foods
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as KFC are becoming more and more popular than traditional
foods
Use synonyms
. It is believed that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is detrimental to
both
Use synonyms
 family and
society
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement but I think
this
Linking Words
 trend
Use synonyms
result
Change the verb form
results
show examples
 in more
benefits
Use synonyms
 than
problems
Use synonyms
. Regarding the drawback, Enjoying more fast
food
Use synonyms
 will weaken the cultural
identity
Use synonyms
. Some traditional
foods
Use synonyms
 are closely associated with local culture.
For example
Linking Words
, some
foods
Use synonyms
 are special in the Atacama Desert because of the extreme climatic conditions like drought. If these local
foods
Use synonyms
 are replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
foods
Use synonyms
, the young generations will
lack
Use synonyms
 the understanding of
environmental
Add an article
the environmental
show examples
 impact to some extent.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, these
problems
Use synonyms
 have not
Use synonyms
result
Change the verb form
resulted
show examples
 in significant impacts since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultural
identity
Use synonyms
 are more dependent on education. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they may
lack
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 eating traditional
food
Use synonyms
, they can
also
Linking Words
 know it through learning local history.
However
Linking Words
, the
benefits
Use synonyms
 are more important for
both
Use synonyms
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 and
society
Use synonyms
. It will contribute to economic
growth
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some fast-
food
Use synonyms
companies
Use synonyms
 are likely to build branches or factories if they want to expand their market in some areas, which will create job opportunities for local
people
Use synonyms
, providing them with stable salaries.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will have more disposable money, and they will purchase more products or services to stimulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
growth
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these international
food
Use synonyms
companies
Use synonyms
 can increase the revenue of the
government
Use synonyms
 because they need to pay taxes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 will have budgets to better the cityscape, which not only benefit the local residents but
also
Linking Words
 improve the economy through
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 industry.
In addition
Linking Words
, the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 choosing fast
food
Use synonyms
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 want to save
time
Use synonyms
 because of their over-busy works.
Thus
Linking Words
, they will have more
time
Use synonyms
 to dedicate
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 working, which will be beneficial for their futural career. In conclusion, the development of fast
foods
Use synonyms
 surpassing that of traditional
food
Use synonyms
 contributes to economic
growth
Use synonyms
 and adapt to
social
Add an article
a social
the social
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. While drawbacks do exist,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be minimized.
foods
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as KFC are becoming more and more popular than traditional
foods
Use synonyms
. It is believed that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is detrimental to
both
Use synonyms
 family and
society
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement but I think
this
Linking Words
 trend
Use synonyms
result
Change the verb form
results
show examples
 in more
benefits
Use synonyms
 than
problems
Use synonyms
. Regarding the drawback, Enjoying more fast
food
Use synonyms
 will weaken the cultural
identity
Use synonyms
. Some traditional
foods
Use synonyms
 are closely associated with local culture.
For example
Linking Words
, some
foods
Use synonyms
 are special in the Atacama Desert because of the extreme climatic conditions like drought. If these local
foods
Use synonyms
 are replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
foods
Use synonyms
, the young generations will
lack
Use synonyms
 the understanding of
environmental
Add an article
the environmental
show examples
 impact to some extent.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, these
problems
Use synonyms
 have not
Use synonyms
result
Change the verb form
resulted
show examples
 in significant impacts since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultural
identity
Use synonyms
 are more dependent on education. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they may
lack
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 eating traditional
food
Use synonyms
, they can
also
Linking Words
 know it through learning local history.
However
Linking Words
, the
benefits
Use synonyms
 are more important for
both
Use synonyms
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 and
society
Use synonyms
. It will contribute to economic
growth
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some fast-
food
Use synonyms
companies
Use synonyms
 are likely to build branches or factories if they want to expand their market in some areas, which will create job opportunities for local
people
Use synonyms
, providing them with stable salaries.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will have more disposable money, and they will purchase more products or services to stimulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
growth
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these international
food
Use synonyms
companies
Use synonyms
 can increase the revenue of the
government
Use synonyms
 because they need to pay taxes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 will have budgets to better the cityscape, which not only benefit the local residents but
also
Linking Words
 improve the economy through
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 industry.
In addition
Linking Words
, the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 choosing fast
food
Use synonyms
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 want to save
time
Use synonyms
 because of their over-busy works.
Thus
Linking Words
, they will have more
time
Use synonyms
 to dedicate
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 working, which will be beneficial for their futural career. In conclusion, the development of fast
foods
Use synonyms
 surpassing that of traditional
food
Use synonyms
 contributes to economic
growth
Use synonyms
 and adapt to
social
Add an article
a social
the social
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. While drawbacks do exist,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be minimized.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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