The younger generation is mainly responsible for the latest technological developments. How far do you agree?

#generation #developments

Nowadays, teenagers adapt to technologies faster than elderly

people

. Personally,

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think

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completely agree that they responsible for developments in our

live

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life

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First

of all, as far as know young generation have more motivation to change their

live

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lives

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and world in

good

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a good

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way. Even if we give chance to elderly

people

they will not work as

a teenagers

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a teenager

teenagers

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, cause of

this

motivation and health.

For example

Mark

Zuckrberg

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Zuckerberg

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is a creator of international messenger under the name Facebook.He create it when he was 24 years old and it was

most

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a most

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popular app but if we compare now and past Facebook become less popular as Mark become older. That's why

people

who

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are

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younger have

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apply

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good productivity and thoughts.

Secondly

, young

people

do not avoid risk and do not fear

about

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apply

show examples

their business. What

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mean by

this

it means that they ready to fight with problems face to face and decide it without running or avoid

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the issue

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issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

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and create new technologies. For instance

Steave

Correct your spelling

Steve

Jobs

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apply

show examples

creator

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the creator

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company

Correct article usage

the company

show examples

Apple and he has a film about it all. In one moment, he

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searches

show examples

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for a

show examples

sponsor for his company and he

find

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finds

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one person, he said to

Steave

Correct your spelling

Steve

certain

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a certain

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amount of money but Steve venture and said twice more than

sponsor

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a sponsor

show examples

and he

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accepts

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Thus

, prove that risk not always but some times excuse. To conclude,

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strongly believe that

young

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the young

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generation can influence to

world

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the world

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and it

make

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makes

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them more motivated.

Submitted by nurlan32 on Wed Jun 30 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The younger generation is mainly responsible for the latest technological developments. How far do you agree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Discuss your academic and non-academic achievements (for undergraduate and vocational student), and industrial experience (for vocational student only) including the process and skills involved in your previous or current degree program!

is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles,and so on are involved in a child upbringing,rather than just their parents.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that the best way to ensure a happier society is to reduce the difference in income earnings between the rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while other think that good working atmosphere is more important, Discuss both views and state your opinion.