Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent you agree or disagree ?

#people #smartphones #interaction

While some

persons

are the opinion that the use of mobile

devices

are

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show examples

jeopardizing inter-

personnal

Correct your spelling

personal

relationship in recent times, I do not agree with

this

statement as the use of these gadgets have been proven to connect individuals with

same

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the same

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notion. On the one hand, some

people

would argue that the use of telephones disconnects individuals from their real world. We are in a period whereby most

persons

have become screen-obsessed and can spend series of hours going through their phone without necessarily having any discussion with those around them and

this

has been said to have

reduce

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reduced

show examples

the proportion of face-to-face interaction recently.

For example

, the result of a survey carried out by an undergraduate at the college university ,Lagos , indicated that following the onset of smartphones, there has been a significant reduction in social interaction. Because these

devices

detach their users from their immediate surroundings, some

persons

are of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

believe

Replace the word

belief

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that the state of face-to-face discussion is been jeopardized.

However

, I do not agree

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with

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their claims.

On the other hand

, cell phones serve as a medium where

people

of similar

interest

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interests

show examples

interact. Series of websites (

facebook

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Facebook

show examples

twitter

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Twitter

show examples

Correct your spelling

Linked In

show examples

etc.) available on these

devices

make it possible for different

persons

to connect with other like-minded

people

from different walks of life irrespective of their location.

For instance

, LinkedIn is a popular social media platform where scholars connect with each

others

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other

show examples

across the globe to discuss trending issues. Due to the fact that smartphones enable us to associate with other

persons

outside our immediate environment, I do not agree with the fact that it is destroying social interaction. In conclusion, despite the fact that some

people

would argue that cellular

devices

threatens

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threaten

show examples

our inter-

personnal

Correct your spelling

personal

relationship by dissociating their users from their current environment, others are of the

view point

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viewpoint

show examples

and I concur that these

devices

has

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have

show examples

helped broaden our social life.

Submitted by Victoria on Wed Jun 30 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

limit
face-to-face communication
social media
loss of real connections
distract
engaging
empathy
personal connection
addictive
isolation
enhance

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Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent you agree or disagree ?

Your opinion

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