IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently bought a product from an online store, but when it arrived, it was damaged. Write a letter to the manager of the online store. In your letter: describe the product you bought explain what was wrong with it say what you would like the manager to do

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Dear Tim, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to let you know that I accidentally damaged the
camera
Use synonyms
 you gave me a week ago. As you know, I took your
camera
Use synonyms
 to the jungle to click some photographs.
While
Linking Words
 I was taking pictures of a duck near the lake, a lion suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I became extremely frightened and accidentally dropped the
camera
Use synonyms
 into the pond. After a few minutes, I went back to retrieve it, but by that time, the
camera
Use synonyms
 was completely damaged
due to
Linking Words
 the water. I sincerely
apologize
Change the spelling
apologise
show examples
 for my mistake. I know
this
Linking Words
camera
Use synonyms
 was very precious to you because it was gifted to you by your father on your 18th birthday. I
also
Linking Words
 understand that you have many beautiful memories attached to it. To make up for the situation, I have already ordered a new
camera
Use synonyms
 of the same model, and it will be delivered on 11th May 2026. I know it may never replace the sentimental value of your old
camera
Use synonyms
, but I truly hope it will help compensate for the loss. Once again, I am really sorry for my mistake
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I hope you will forgive me. Yours truly, Ayush Shukla

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Write to the store manager, not to a friend. Use a formal tone.
task response
Answer all parts of the task. Say what product you bought, what was wrong, and what action you want.
task response
The ideas are clear, but the letter is for a different topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear order: product, problem, request.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph should have one main point only.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, so, because.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear opening and ending.
coherence and cohesion
The story is easy to follow.
task response
You explain the problem in detail.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: