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Writing Samples
Band 7

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many lives are lost every year from heart disease, stroke, diabetes and other obesity-related illnesses. I think a
tax
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 on unhealthy
food
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 is a sensible idea even though some
people
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 think it could be discriminatory and difficult to implement. There are several arguments against the introduction of a ‘fat
tax
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’. It could end up as a
tax
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 on the poor because low-income families are more likely to consume cheap, fatty
food
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. It might
also
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 be just another revenue-gathering scheme for the
government
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 as it can be argued that there are already taxes on cigarettes and alcohol, but that does not stop
people
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 from smoking and drinking.
Besides
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, what right does the
government
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 have to dictate what
people
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 should eat? Who would decide exactly which foods merit a ‘fat
tax
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’? These questions aside, the most cogent argument against a
food
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tax
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 is that
food
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 alone is not responsible for obesity and ill health. Exercise and genetic factors, not to mention portion sizes, all have a part to play. In defence of a
tax
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 on unhealthy
food
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, I would contend that the
government
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 has a right to collect
tax
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 from products that cost millions of dollars every year in medical treatment and lost productivity. Statistics show that the obese are less likely to be employed and are,
therefore
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, a greater burden on society. In any case, it would not be an outright ban on unhealthy
food
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 –
people
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 could still eat what they want – but higher prices would discourage over-consumption and reduce demand. Admittedly, it might be difficult to decide which foods would attract the
tax
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, but a good start would be sugar-laden beverages
such
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 as ‘
energy’
Correct your spelling
energy
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 drinks, deep-fried takeaways, chips, chocolate and sweets. To conclude, I think
government
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 intervention in the form of a new
tax
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 is justified when society’s well-being is at stake. Obviously, many
people
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 fail to make the connection between diet and disease and ultimately society pays for the costs of their consumption of unhealthy
food
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.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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