Some people think that students should play more team sports, such as football and volleyball, rather than individual sports, such as running and swimming. Do you agree?

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Youngsters are often encouraged to take part in

sports

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;

however

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, some people believe that children should solely play group

sports

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like basketball and football and avoid

activities

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such

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as swimming and running. I do not agree with the above notion and argue that every kind of sport supports personality development but in different ways. There are several benefits associated with in participating

team

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sports

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Firstly

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, engaging in any sport as a

team

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pushes pupils to develop many life skills

such

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as companionship and teamwork. When an individual plays in a group of 5 or 10, they will not only get pressure to better perform but

also

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realize the importance of their

team

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members. To take an example, in India, cricket is a famous sport among youngsters and many of them like to play

this

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with friends rather than watch television.These

activities

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encourage values like sportsmanship

spirit

Correct word choice

and spirit

show examples

and

hence

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, help to develop emotional connections and a strong foundation of friendship between peers.

On the other hand

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, skipping individual

activities

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such

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as running and swimming for

team

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sports

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is not the right step. Fostering these exercises would deter children's interest in the

activities

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they are particularly interested in.

However

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such

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physical

activities

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should be promoted as it could not only help in eliminating many life-threatening diseases like obesity but

also

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help to build stamina at an early age.

Therefore

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, promoting and introducing a variety of

sports

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among individuals is a necessity. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

taking part in

team

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activities

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supports sportsmanship, one should not neglect their individual interest. I strongly opine that society should encourage their young ones to take part in every activity for fun and enjoyment.

sanakalsi3736Fri Aug 23 2024

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task achievement

For a higher score, ensure more precise and varied vocabulary. Your essay is clear, but slightly more complex sentence structures and less repetition would elevate your writing.

task achievement

Consider varying your examples. The essay could benefit from another concrete example that supports your argument about individual sports, similar to how you mentioned cricket for team sports.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. This will make your essay more cohesive and will strengthen the logical flow of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect ideas and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and gives an overview of what your essay will discuss. This sets a strong foundation.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct point that supports your main argument.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the example of cricket in India.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, providing a clear ending to your essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Some people think that students should play more team sports, such as football and volleyball, rather than individual sports, such as running and swimming. Do you agree?

Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many young people are leaving their home in rural area to study or work in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Living in large cities today poses many problems for people. What are these problems? Should governments encourage more people to live in smaller town

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.