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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that if old people spend time and get along with others and exercise everyday they will become fit. However, nowadays old people are usually alone and do not talk to others which make them unhapppy and unfit. Causes and solutions?

#people #time #exercise #unhapppy
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A school of thought insists that senior citizens become healthy by interacting with
people
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 and doing physical activities on regular basis; whereas, grey-haired
people
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 mostly spend their time alone only these days, which makes them miserable and unhealthy. The feeling of burden on their family members and generation
gap
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 can be held accountable for the same. The reasons
besides
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 the measures of mitigating them are discussed ahead. Most old-age denizens feel they are putting stress on their loved ones. Due to the hectic schedule of their
children
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, they do not want to disturb them and put unnecessary stress on sharing their feelings.
Consequently
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, they feel lonely, and eventually, it leads to depression and anxiety.
Furthermore
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, there is a thought
gap
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 between them and their grandchildren.
This
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 is because they have lived with old traditions and rituals, whereas the offspring of their
children
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 living in modern society and adapting western culture. Due to
this
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 generation
gap
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, there are usually conflicts regarding any aspect of the world and they feel hesitant to communicate with them.
However
Linking Words
, the same can be tackled if old age persons can be motivated to join some recreational clubs, where they can interact with different kinds of peers and spend time by doing some leisure activities. To exemplify, incidents of depressions of senior citizens in Australia would not have been reduced, if they did not join the yoga club.
In addition
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 to
this
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, not only parents should teach their
children
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 the values of local culture, which can motivate them to share thoughts with their grandparents but
also
Linking Words
 grey-haired
people
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 need to modify their principles. To recapitulate,
this
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 essay has covered two aspects: causes of the loneliness of the aged
people
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, which include their feeling about the unnecessary burden on their
children
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 and differences in opinion; and its solutions, which consist of engaging aged denizens in time spare activities and by reducing the generation
gap
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 between younger ones and old ones.
Submitted by gsingla730 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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