IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #age #outweigh
In recent decades, lots of
people
 choose to give
birth
 to
babies
 when they become older, unlike in the past when many
people
 became
parents
 at a younger
age
. There is a multitude of reasons for
this
 phenomenon. In
this
 essay, the reasons will be illustrated.
Although
 there are good arguments in favour of having
children
 at a younger
age
, I personally believe that becoming
parents
 at a later
age
 is a better option. There are two main reasons why citizens now choose to give
birth
 to
babies
 at a later
age
.
People
 nowadays enjoy freedom more than those in the past. When compared to the previous ages, citizens now have more entertainment and leisure activities than before. With the fascinating activities,
people
 are keen to relish freedom and youth before settling down for
children
. A striking illustration is that
people
 are amused by going on trips as travelling abroad is now more common than in the past. Having
babies
 at a young
age
 hinders
people
 from travelling, as taking care of them occupies one's life completely. With
this
 in mind,
people
 incline to have
children
 later. Another reason to note is
because of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the immense financial burden brought by having
children
. Citizens usually settle down after their career is developed due to the enormous expenditure spent on
children
. In the present day,
people
 often hope to give the best things to their
children
. The expenses, be it tuition fees or medical fees, are massive. In order to allow their
children
 to have the best things, an increasing number of
people
 choose to give
birth
 after their career is developed. There are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
 phenomenon. One of the drawbacks is the illnesses
babies
 might have. A study from John Hopkins Hospital shows that the probability of
children
 having special educational needs increases exponentially if a mother gives
birth
 to them after the
age
 of 35. Despite the aforementioned disadvantages, I believe that having
children
 later brings more advantages. As said before,
people
 having
babies
 later will be more financially stable.
Parents
 will not have to be worried about financial hardships and the family can focus on the physical and psychological development of
children
.
Furthermore
,
parents
 giving
birth
 later mean that they are more mature than young
parents
. It in turn leads to a solid and strong family basis, which is beneficial to
children
. Under
this
 line of thinking,
although
 there are undeniably drawbacks of having
children
 at a later
age
, it is believed that there are even more benefits.
Submitted by kylechanwaiming on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: