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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #resources #attention #protection #animals #birds
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Numerous people believe that much heed and reserves are provided for the preservation of wildlife. I completely disagree with the notion and believe that it is much needed considering its human responsibility to save many endangered species that are near extinction. The below essay will elaborate on why more investments are needed to alleviate the current situation.
Firstly
, every species has a pivotal role in the proper functioning and balancing of an ecosystem. There are countless examples of how an increase or decrease in the number has affected humans. Case in point, bees play a major role in transferring pollen grains and help in the production of crops and fruits. A reduction in the number of bees will lead to low yields of crops and food for people.
Furthermore
, there are many animals that are unique and habituated to their surroundings. Kangaroos in Australia are one
such
 illustration that survives only in the climates of Australia. They bring a lot of revenue to the country from visitors. Various organisms help in maintaining the health of the soil and again
is helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 in farming. To illustrate
further
, consider earthworm that feeds on plant and animal wastes and releases chemicals that are necessary for restoring the soil nutrients. Humans have caused many problems to living beings in the form of hunting, poaching and deforestation. Considering the benefits, we are gaining from animals, whatever amount we spend on their conservation is comparatively less. So, people who think that we are spending too much on animal conservation should rethink and help in building a good ecosystem. In conclusion, money spent on the conservation of wildlife is vindicated. Any step taken towards the cause should be appreciated.
Submitted by praveena.tirumala on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and directly relate to the topic at hand. Provide a clear and comprehensive analysis of the ideas presented, and use relevant and specific examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task and articulated clear and comprehensive ideas. However, ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more explicitly connected to the prompt. Use more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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