Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is incontrovertible that

music

plays a crucial role in helping us to settle down in

this

immediate life.

Therefore

, I thoroughly advocate that

music

is an optimal approach to combine galore generations and diverse cultures from all around the world. There are several reasons that

music

is unrestricted for people from plenty of areas and ages.

Firstly

, most of us love listening to

music

due to its capability to make us feel simmered down.

Thus

, we all feel unrestrained while talking about

music

that makes

music

become an ideal topic to communicate.

Moreover

, from past to present, we constantly have songs written about family, which associates pedigrees together. To be more comprehensible, it seems that we can find out their affection and perceive their emotions more through these songs.

Furthermore

, not only do we have songs for

family

Add an article

the family

a family

show examples

but

also

we have ones for enhancing amity from diverse nations.

For example

, the song ‘Barney is a dinosaur’ in Barney children TV show with

associative

Replace the word

associated

show examples

lyric meaning, which effectively links kids either to powerhouses or developing countries. On the one hand, if we did not have

music

, what would we do to take part in with others?

Actually

Add a comma

,Actually

show examples

not only

music

but

also

social activities can make us tie in together.

For instance

, teamwork let us see through our teammate’s attitudes that we can behave in a better way to them.

Besides

, knowledge is

also

a pragmatic tool to help people join in sync. For making more sense, we completely understand their own drawbacks in backgrounds so as to pay sympathy

Change preposition

show examples

them.

On the other hand

, I believe that

music

still the best solution to let us from different societies and age ranges in harmony. In conclusion,

music

can do more than we think on helping us to figure out human’s

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

from numerous classes. As a repercussion, I totally agree that

music

is the best method to bring people from various cultures and age groups into one.

Submitted by phuonggng1310 on Sat Jul 03 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that radio is the best way to get the news while others think that television is better for this purpose.

Large-scale festivals attract tourists, bring economic benefits to an area, while taking away the local culture. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skill and more creative than reading to what extent do you agree or disagree use reason and specific example for to explain your answer.