Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #amount #money #birthdays #weddings #events

People celebrate their special days

such

as weddings and birthdays which are considered

a remarkable ones

Correct the article-noun agreement

a remarkable one

remarkable ones

show examples

. While others say that it is completely a waste of

money

. I will discuss both opinions in

this

essay and

then

, conclude my side. In

this

hectic life, people only get few chances to gather as everyone is working hard to meet their expenses.

Therefore

, they organize functions to collect memories, celebrate and

also

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

get a break from busy life. In some countries, it is considered

Correct your spelling

show examples

tradition like, in India, weddings are performed in front of the society for three days with extravagant spending.

Moreover

, children living far from their parents like, in foreign countries, get

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quality time to spend with their families and relatives. The quality of time you spend matters most than the quantity.

On the other hand

, there is

also

a belief that celebrations are no more than just

money

wastage as they can

also

use

this

money

in many ways. To illustrate,

instead

of throwing a party, travelling abroad at

equal

Correct article usage

an equal

show examples

price will be more beneficial that helps to learn something new about other cultures.

In addition

to that, adding to your knowledge is

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

way to invest

money

such

as joining your desirable language learning course. In these ways, people will get to know more about other nation's living

style

Fix the agreement mistake

styles

show examples

, ethics, languages and so on. In conclusion, celebrations are important in one's life and every person has their own aspect on

this

topic. So, I believe that celebrating your days are much more important than doing something else. You will collect memories with your loved ones to remember.

Submitted by kaursimrat455 on Sun Jul 04 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this policy, and give your own opinion.