IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that miney could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts #miney
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Artistry is the backbone of a
country
Use synonyms
's economical and cultural development.
Although
Linking Words
 a few people hold an opinion that
instead
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 of pooling capital in the field of
art
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, money can be efficiently invested in essential commodities. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion and recount my perspective in the below essay.
Art
Use synonyms
 is deteriorating in value and popularity in society. Declining artistry could lead to despair damage to the
country
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's economy.
This
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 is why authorities ought to take responsibility and provide financial aid for its enhancement and give a national platform.
For instance
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, when money gets invested and a work of
art
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 gets promoted by the government, motivates youngsters to consider
art
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 as a career option. In turn, uphold
artism
Correct your spelling
artist
 of the
country
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 globally. Artistry
also
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 depicts the historical values and the traditional richness of the
country
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.
However
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, these days, there is a depletion in the number of museums and
art
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 galleries. The reason for
this
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 could be a lack of financial assistance.
Therefore
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 it is essential for the government to step in and mitigate the problem by assuring infrastructural and constructional help in building more
art
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 galleries to exhibit the work of
art
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. In conclusion, As fully aware of the necessity of
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of other public facilities.
Nevertheless
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, I would argue that even
art
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 has to be considered and given immense support to continue its vivid role in the nation's progression in various aspects. And,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mixed funding model by the government and by the other public authorities could benefit
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 and artisan of the nation.
Submitted by aishwaryamd03 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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