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Writing Samples
Band 6

Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university. What are the reasons for this? What impact does this issue have on society?

The development in
science
Use synonyms
 is the key point of any successful county.
However
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, the vast majority of students do not select a
science
Use synonyms
 subject to study at university
instead
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, they tend to choose more common subjects like business or Arts. The following paragraph will illustrate the causes behind selecting other options over a
science
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 major as well as its impact on the
community
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.
First
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 of all,
science
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 plays important role in society
thus
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community
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 requires more graduates with a
science
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 background.
Nevertheless
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, a
science
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 major demands extreme hard work as well as dedication
therefore
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, the younger generation does not want to involve in
this
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 subject.
In addition
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 to that, looking at the future demand and supply in the
science
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 field is not balanced so students do not want to put their time into an unpredicted future.
For instance
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, many students who go to a foreign county for
further
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 study choose another field to study over
science
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 since other fields like arts or business are in demand as well as they have better future options in terms of getting a job.
On the other hand
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, a lack of
science
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 graduates could lead to many complications in society.
Moreover
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, there is already
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
show examples
 of doctors, nurses and IT
people
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
community
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, and
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 example could be COVID-19. During
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this
Change the determiner
this pendamic person
these pendamic people
show examples
pendamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
people
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 already suffered huge
loses
Replace the word
losses
show examples
, and
that is
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 due to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of sufficient talented
people
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. Apart from that, technological advancement even making
Add an article
the situation
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 worst as society
Correct your spelling
does
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dose
Correct your spelling
does
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 not have enough IT
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 who can protect
people
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 from
cyber crime
Correct your spelling
cybercrime
show examples
. In conclusion,
people
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 need more
science
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graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the requirement of the
community
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, and
that is
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 the best way to solve
people
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's
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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