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Band 5.5

With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree? dag=> satellites comunication , activitivy in space to save our earth, planets ag=> race btw the countries not useful, lack of knowl , get failed then millin loss with time

#troubles #world #money #space #exploration #waste #dag=> #satellites #comunication #activitivy #earth #planets #ag=> #race #btw #countries #lack #knowl #millin #loss #time
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It is an irrefutable fact that, as compared to bygone days, now
space
exploration
 has become one of the most favourite fields of study
as well as
 experiments. To agree or disagree with
the
Correct word choice
whether the
show examples
money
 spent on
this
 area is worth it or not is a highly debatable issue. In
this
 essay, first I will discuss some arguments to support my point of view regarding the statement, after that some aspects against it will be presented. To commence
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
space
exploration
 has provided us with vital
information
 about other planets, stars and galaxies.
As a consequence
, after gaining knowledge about the atmosphere in
space
, now
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 able to place satellites which are helping us to collect weather
information
.
For instance
, by providing
information
 about natural disasters in advance,
this
 data helps the government and
people
 to take safety measures in advance.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 placed satellites on other planets which are sending us pictures of the planet and are able to bring the soil of the planet to the earth which leads to the discovery of new metals that might help
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
On the other hand
, despite the above praising benefits of
space
exploration
, some individuals believe that it is just a waste of
money
 and
this
Correct word choice
that this
show examples
money
 should be spent on other things which can help society. One of the main reasons behind
this
 thought is,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of education, as
people
 are not aware of the advantages of it,
hence
 it seems a waste of
money
.
Moreover
, many
people
 think that it involves a lot of
money
.
In addition
, there is a very high probability of a
space
 mission getting failed.
Thus
 it will be a huge
money
, manpower and time loss. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that,
although
 many
people
 vary their opinion about
space
exploration
 and
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
 involved in it, I wholeheartedly believe that,
this
space
 knowledge has given us much useful
information
 which is helping our society
thus
 it is not waste of
money
. Its merits
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 demerits as a whole.
Submitted by pragnapatel027 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are fully developed and linked together to form a cohesive argument.
task response
Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt and provide a clear stance on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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