IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays in many countries people are spending too much on weddings some people think that it is essential to spend a huge amount of money on wedding ceremonies others think that have to be simple and not very grand discuss both views and give your opinion

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We are living in a century that much
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information

It appears that informations is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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 are published in magazines, newspaper, books and
specially
Replace the word
especially

The word specially may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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 on
internet
Add an article
the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. Many peoples believe that it is good to share as much as possible
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as scientific research and others believe that some
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 should be kept confidential.
Information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is important to get knowledge,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when I was studying I had a lot of assessments and I read many articles to present a good job. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 case, more
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is better to learn more.
Other
Change the wording
Another

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun example. Consider making a change.

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 example is when you want to sell a product and you do not describe it as much as you can, most
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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people
Add an article
the people

The phrase most of people may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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 will not be interested.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 kind of
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is important to share as much as you can.
In
Change preposition
On

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the other hand,
many
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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some
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun research in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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scientific research can not be published.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, laboratories do tests to approve some medicine and a
couple
Add the preposition
ofcouple

It appears that you are missing a preposition after a couple. Consider adding a preposition.

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 months before I was invited to participate
for
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 a test. It was a test for a new medicine to headache and they sent me a confidential contract
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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 because there are some
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information

It appears that informations is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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 if sharing can be dangerous and too valuable. In my opinion,
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information

It appears that informations is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as academic, business, articles should be shared as long as it is correct and true to help people get more knowledge, but personal
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, scientific research,
police
Correct your spelling
policy

The word police doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 should be retained.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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