IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
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Food
Use synonyms
 choices are been changing dramatically these days.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of
people
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 in few countries are consuming more
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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junk
food
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 which is
consequently
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 leading to health issues.
Hence
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, the government should be imposing heavy taxes on unhealthy
food
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 items. I completely agree with
this
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 idea and will be elaborating my view on
this
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further
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 in
this
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 essay in an exemplary manner.
To begin
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 with, many companies selling
fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
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food
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 are quite cheap which are easy to purchase and have healthy options expensive on their menu which
compell
Correct your spelling
compel
compels
compelled
people
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 to buy the more affordable ones.
For instance
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, many
people
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 just buy a hamburger from Mc Donalds at a cheaper price as compared to vegetable salad and a glass of fresh orange juice.
Moreover
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
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 in western countries just
a
Correct article usage
apply
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grab a hamburger or other fried stuff from their favourite
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
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food
Use synonyms
 restaurant while on the way to their workplace.
In other words
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, junk
food
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 seems to them a more convenient and affordable option.
In addition
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 to
this
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, there are myriad nations where fresh
food
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 is much
more
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apply
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costlier than the frozen foods. The organic
food
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 section in supermarkets is separate and pricey as compared to, the frozen junk
food
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,
for example
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, fries, nuggets, burgers, etc., are kept in attractive discount offers.
This
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 strategy of hypermarkets is one of the leading
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 attributed to
people
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's ill health. The government must enforce strict laws against selling harmful edible products
such
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 as fizzy drinks, branded fast foods. To conclude, every individual has their own eating habits and are free to choose between different
food
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 options available.
However
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, some
people
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 lack knowledge about the
food
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 they eat so it is the duty of the government to exercise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness campaigns and do their best as much as possible to take care of the health of their nationals.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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