In many countries governments are living in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.

In light of the proliferation of technology, it may indeed be true to claim that mechanical equipment
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increasingly becoming the focus of governments around the globe.
This
is
due to
the high demand of residents for a better quality of life.
This
writer contends that the increasing rate of crime is the reason for the expenditure of government and
this
is a suitable way to use money. It is vital to understand that a significant benefit of automation in people’s lives is the modernization of the healthcare industry. Gone are the days of long lines in the outpatient ward and hours of waiting for a doctor's consultation. Patients can schedule a hospital visit using their mobile phones and check if their doctor's office is open.
This
way, hospital procedures are
also
faster and more efficient.
For instance
, healthcare document scanners are now used by many medical facilities to digitize old medical files for easier access. By moving printed documents to a digital system, any healthcare staff can conveniently access a patient's record with a computer. It
also
lessens the risk of misplacing or losing a patient's records since all information will be stored safely on a web application. Notwithstanding the reality of offence, it prompts the government to enhance the security system.
For
this
reason, financial crises around the world are becoming more serious.
As a result
, many people will run into difficult situations, unemployment and have to steal cash or refreshments to cover their expenditures.
Furthermore
, the global political situation is becoming more and more stressful,
therefore
, governments can apply up-to-date machinery
such
as cameras to observe and save their citizen.
For example
, in Tan Son Nhat airport, a crucial place where a lot of passengers visit every day,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
politics has applied a lot of cameras, checking gates , and x-ray machines to save people from terrorism. In conclusion, a lot of governments are investing property in new technology as the ratio of criminals is increasing.
As a consequence
,
this
action can bring about positive changes and
this
is a suitable way to use government expenditure

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Language use
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Task Response
Ensure a clear and concise thesis statement in your introduction. This will guide the reader through your argument and clarify your stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using paragraphing more effectively to delineate your points. A new paragraph for each main idea helps in organizing thoughts and makes your essay easier to follow.
Task Achievement
You've done well in integrating relevant examples to support your main points, making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Task Achievement
Your essay tackled the topic from multiple perspectives, which is commendable. It shows an ability to think critically about the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
You maintained a clear focus throughout the essay, which is crucial in delivering a coherent argument to the reader.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital transformation
  • service delivery
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • tech-savvy
  • contemporary lifestyle
  • public satisfaction
  • data management
  • smart city technologies
  • predictive policing
  • data privacy
  • digital divide
  • inclusivity
  • governance
  • infrastructure
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