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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Other believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Childhood
Use synonyms
 is period where
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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children
Use synonyms
 enjoy the most while learning from their surroundings. Up until the age of even, a
child
Use synonyms
's mind is flexible
enoung
Correct your spelling
enough
 to grasp anything present to it
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 period is considered to be the most crucial among others. Some
people
Use synonyms
 advocate the
idea
Use synonyms
 that
children
Use synonyms
 of all ages should be aware of their responsibilities and focus on fulfilling them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 believe that
childhood
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 is meant to be enjoyed and
instead
Linking Words
 of just focusing on fulfilling their duties, a
child
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to enjoy
life
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 freely. Knowing your duties at
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 work or in general day to day
life
Use synonyms
 and fulfilling them is an important skill to have in today's competitive world.
People
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 who are in support of making their
children
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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responsible
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 in their early
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
 want them to compete
them
Change preposition
with them
show examples
 at the highest level and be ready for all the challenges. Being responsible will not only make the
children
Use synonyms
 more self-aware and help them to craft a better future for themselves.
Correct your spelling
They
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The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 will learn to be more
desciplined
Correct your spelling
disciplined
 and self-
relaint
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reliant
 and will perform every task efficiently.
For instance
Linking Words
, the famous personality Swami Vivekananda is a great proponent of living a disciplined
life
Use synonyms
. From his
Use synonyms
childhood
Add a comma
,childhood
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 he was focused and determined
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 he took charge of his responsibilities from
his
Change the word
a
show examples
 young age.
Moreover
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, a responsible
child
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 would be a gift to his parents in various aspects and would make their
lives
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 easier.
In contrast
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, it is
also
Linking Words
 important to focus on enjoying your
life
Use synonyms
 in your
childhood
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 and it is the period where a human being has the least amount of dependencies and
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
. No one
expect
Change the verb form
expects
show examples
 them to
effcient
Correct your spelling
efficient
 in their tasks and hold
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 for anything they do. The
idea
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 of letting
children
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 enjoy
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
 to the fullest at their
nacent
Correct your spelling
nascent
 stage is popular among
people
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 who discourage the
idea
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 of putting unnecessary pressure on their
children
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. They believe in the
idea
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 of free will.
Correct your spelling
Overburdening
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Over burdening
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Overburdening
show examples
Use synonyms
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 in his or her early stage of
life
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 could have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on a
child
Use synonyms
's mind. To conclude, both the
idealogies
Correct your spelling
ideologies
 have their pros and cons but one must maintain a balance between them while implementing
tyhem
Correct your spelling
them
 on their
children
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.
Children
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 are a gift of
god
Change the capitalization
God
show examples
 to
Correct your spelling
humankind
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human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
show examples
. They neither should not be overwhelmed with unnecessary pressure nor should be set free enough to sabotage their
lives
Use synonyms

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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