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Band 4.5

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Other believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #ages #responsibilities #school #life
Childhood
 is period where
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children
 enjoy the most while learning from their surroundings. Up until the age of even, a
child
's mind is flexible
enoung
Correct your spelling
enough
 to grasp anything present to it
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
this
 period is considered to be the most crucial among others. Some
people
 advocate the
idea
 that
children
 of all ages should be aware of their responsibilities and focus on fulfilling them.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that
childhood
 is meant to be enjoyed and
instead
 of just focusing on fulfilling their duties, a
child
 should be allowed to enjoy
life
 freely. Knowing your duties at
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 work or in general day to day
life
 and fulfilling them is an important skill to have in today's competitive world.
People
 who are in support of making their
children
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 in their early
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
 of
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
 want them to compete
them
Change preposition
with them
show examples
 at the highest level and be ready for all the challenges. Being responsible will not only make the
children
 more self-aware and help them to craft a better future for themselves.
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 will learn to be more
desciplined
Correct your spelling
disciplined
 and self-
relaint
Correct your spelling
reliant
 and will perform every task efficiently.
For instance
, the famous personality Swami Vivekananda is a great proponent of living a disciplined
life
. From his
childhood
Add a comma
,childhood
show examples
 he was focused and determined
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 he took charge of his responsibilities from
his
Change the word
a
show examples
 young age.
Moreover
, a responsible
child
 would be a gift to his parents in various aspects and would make their
lives
 easier.
In contrast
, it is
also
 important to focus on enjoying your
life
 in your
childhood
 and it is the period where a human being has the least amount of dependencies and
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
. No one
expect
Change the verb form
expects
show examples
 them to
effcient
Correct your spelling
efficient
 in their tasks and hold
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 for anything they do. The
idea
 of letting
children
 enjoy
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lives
 to the fullest at their
nacent
Correct your spelling
nascent
 stage is popular among
people
 who discourage the
idea
 of putting unnecessary pressure on their
children
. They believe in the
idea
 of free will.
Correct your spelling
Overburdening
show examples
Over burdening
Correct your spelling
Overburdening
show examples
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 in his or her early stage of
life
 could have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on a
child
's mind. To conclude, both the
idealogies
Correct your spelling
ideologies
 have their pros and cons but one must maintain a balance between them while implementing
tyhem
Correct your spelling
them
 on their
children
.
Children
 are a gift of
god
Change the capitalization
God
show examples
 to
Correct your spelling
humankind
show examples
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
show examples
. They neither should not be overwhelmed with unnecessary pressure nor should be set free enough to sabotage their
lives
Submitted by akshits030 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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