The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Obesity has increasingly become a problem among today’s population. Several people think that it can be controlled by enhancing extracurricular activities in their school. In my opinion, I completely agree that

this

is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public

health

about gaining weight. Overweight people are putting a strain on our

health

care system. To prevent

this

, we ought to take measures

such

as conducting physical education classes every day for at least half an hour in the school for students.

Moreover

, it will generate interest in

sports

among scholars, and by

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

every day,

sports

activities will make them fit as a fiddle.

Furthermore

this

method will ensure that the

generation will be healthier and will not face

such

health

problems.

Thus

, introducing more physical education lessons in the school curriculum undoubtedly makes children more active and fit. Another point is to consider that while engaging in

sports

lessons, scholars will generate their interest in

such

activities which

further

give them a chance to make their career in

sports

and play for their country. We have several players who have done victory in many

sports

and made their country proud of themselves.

For instance

, In India, in cricket, Virat Kholi is considered one of the finest batsmen today.

Moreover

, he won numerous matches against various nations and made his country proud.

This

is certainly a natural way to improve their

health

and generate their interest for their future. In a nutshell, To control overweight obstacles among youngsters, and make our

generation more healthy and fit, introducing

sports

in their curriculum is the best method to prevent

this

disease.

Submitted by niksmd1991 on Fri Jul 09 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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