IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Does it help students if parents pay for their university education?

#students #parents #university #education
A study from the University of California compares
children
 versus
parents
 paying for their
studies
 and the results are contradictory: On one hand the more
parents
 pay, the worse
children
’s grades because they spend too much time on leisure activities.
On the other hand
, if
parents
 pay for
children
’s education, fewer
children
 leave before graduating than if
children
 pay for their own education. So, does it help students if
parents
 pay for their university education? An established view was that if
children
 find a job,
this
 distracts them from their
studies
.
This
 could be due to the fact that they have less time to dedicate to lessons and to study. In fact, as explained by the
second
 result, if
parents
 pay,
children
 are less tempted to leave the university before graduating and it could be because they have only one task: to study. But paying for their own
studies
 can
also
 be extra stimulating for them: in fact, as is highlighted by the
first
 finding,
children
 whose
parents
 are paying have a lot of free time that
also
 could distract them from
studies
. From my point of view,
children
 who pay for thier own
studies
 are more motivated, because they are making sacrifices for a better future. Of course, it could be difficult to get organized in order to succeed, but if they are really motivated, they can do it.
Submitted by carol.scandolara on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: