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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The prevention of health problems is more important than treatment and medicine. Therefore, governments should spend more money on educating people about healthy lifestyles instead of curing illnesses. How far do you agree with this statement?

#prevention #health #treatment #medicine #governments #money #people #lifestyles #illnesses
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Prevention is better than cure is one the most and commonly known
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
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. I adhere to
this
 thought and I believe that it is very beneficial and that everyone should follow it in all walks of life, including the health care field. Healthcare is one of the most important issue and that every individual should take it seriously as they are responsible for their own health and safety. But it will be difficult to take care of oneself if they aren't aware of the possible repercussions of their unhealthy lifestyle.
Also
, if they are unaware of how unhealthy their lifestyle actually is.
Therefore
 it becomes crucial that they have some sort of education
a out
Correct your spelling
about
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 how to lead their life in a healthy way and how to get the best out of their body and mind.
Therefore
, it becomes important for the government to spend more on educating the public on how to lead a healthy lifestyle and explaining
them
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to them
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about
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apply
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the advantages and disadvantages of their daily routine habits.
This
 can be done by more advertising, encouraging people to join local groups, adding these topics
on
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to
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school
Add an article
the school
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 syllabus, etc.
Furthermore
, with the medicine and all the medical facilities getting expensive every passing day it takes a big chunk out of the pocket of the person undergoing the treatment.
This
, not only has an impact on the person's financial and mental condition but
also
 their loved ones.
Thus
, preventing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health problems should be given more attention over curing them.
Submitted by dhdesai.3.24 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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