IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people want to have a successful career and a happy family life both. What problems are involved in combining a career and family life? How to overcome such problems ?

#people #career #life
Nowadays, a majority of the people want to become a thriving
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 and a cheerful brood as well.
However
, there are certain issues in achieving victory in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
areas.
This
 essay discusses those complications and suggests some measures to deal with them.
To begin
 with, in recent times, the tactics of doing a job has changed drastically. The recruiters are excessively demanding
as a result
 of which the employees are unable to maintain a
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance.
For instance
, according to a survey, in India, 80 per cent of the labourers
work
 in excess of their normal working
hours
 due to which they cannot spend sufficient
time
 with their family.
Furthermore
, for promotion and other benefits, the employers assess the performance of employees according to the
hours
 they worked for the company.
Hence
, the workers feel fatigued and irritated, eventually, affecting their family members
also
. To control the above-mentioned nuances, individuals should take their stand in the organisation and come together to equalise the
time
 they spend at
work
.
Moreover
, the enterprise must incorporate a fixed working
hours
 policy so that the job seekers can have some leisure
time
 too. To exemplify, in Japan, the wage earners who complete their tasks on
time
 and do not expend extra
hours
 at
work
 are rewarded.
Consequently
, they are left with sufficient
time
 to relax with their family. The other countries should learn from them. In conclusion, in the long run, on an individual level as well as the overall nation can flourish when an equilibrium is maintained between
work
 and personal life. If a person is happy from within, it automatically reflects in their
work
.
Submitted by harsimrankaur2400 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • prioritizing
  • burnout
  • strain
  • neglect
  • resentment
  • financial pressure
  • childcare
  • gender roles
  • societal expectations
  • flexible work arrangements
  • telecommuting
  • family-friendly policies
  • communication
What to do next:
Look at other essays: