IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most
people
Use synonyms
 like to challenge themselves by trying new things. Whilst many individuals like
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and seeking new adventures, there is a group that refuses to leave their comfort zone as they see the outside world as a dangerous place that must be treated carefully. In my opinion, if someone wants to try something, he should do it directly without hesitation as new experiences add new value to
people
Use synonyms
 on different levels. On one hand, there is a huge segment afraid of digging into new adventures.
In other words
Linking Words
, if we take the psychological side into consideration, we can find that
people
Use synonyms
 have some insecurity issues.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 segment always tends to choose options they already know.
For example
Linking Words
, if there is a journey to a foreign country, they will never take an immediate decision, but some financial studies will be conducted in order to check whether the ability to travel exists or not.
Hence
Linking Words
, the economic situation plays a vital role in how
people
Use synonyms
 spend their leisure time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, adventurers are always seeking new experiences to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their desires.
In other words
Linking Words
, the majority know that discovering new places will boost their interpersonal skills through contact with different cultures.
For instance
Linking Words
, contributing to global events
such
Linking Words
 as food events made by influencers qualifies many
people
Use synonyms
 to have multiple connections, which will be quite significant in life.
Thus
Linking Words
, human beings’ minds have unlimited abilities to learn new skills
as a result
Linking Words
 of multiple experiences throughout life.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 essay, what can be said is that the economic situation here is mainly pivotal if we want to evaluate
people
Use synonyms
’s attitudes and habits.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there are quite differences between various segments of society when it comes to the ability to do something. I reiterate that new adventures are quintessential as all humans have the right to try new things within the capabilities they have.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt directly. The essay should discuss the advantages and disadvantages of children learning a foreign language early, which was not addressed. Focus on answering the question promptly.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by organizing your essay more logically, clearly distinguishing between each side of the argument, and making sure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
coherence cohesion
To score higher in supported main points, each paragraph should include specific examples or evidence which relate directly to the central theme of the essay.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are needed to properly frame the essay. In the introduction, paraphrase the question and outline what will be discussed. The conclusion should briefly summarize the main points and restate your position clearly.
task achievement
The essay needs clear comprehensive ideas that relate to the statement of the question; there should be a focus on the linguistic development of children and the timing of language acquisition specifically.
task achievement
Provide relevant, specific examples that support the discussion of the advantages or disadvantages of children learning a foreign language early. Irrelevant examples to the topic given do not help with task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: