IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #course #fees #study #university
Studying at University is a huge investment for every student .
Today's
Change preposition
In today's
show examples
 century,we need
good
Add an article
a good
the good
show examples
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 to continue our life journey and who should pay the fees to complete the Degree.Some argue that
this
 is the responsibility of
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 while others agree to pay their cost as an individual.
Firstly
, I have a positive point to pay on our own.If we have to manage our budget ,we will understand more accountability and respectiveness to the value of Education.
For example
,we can do some part-time jobs to help our parents and at the same time,attending the classes.
This
 experience can help us more mature,communicable and confident so that we will become
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outstanding
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 in
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 future.
Secondly
,our parents will have more planning to arrange the life goals
such
 as saving their accounts to buy a house, to pay the tuition fees and even for their retirement,they will calculate their funding for their families. According to some research,the higher the number of families who understand money adjustment,the greater the level of
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 happiness and security of their lives. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
,some strongly believe that Government
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be ready to sort out Educational allowances and benefits
such
 as student's loans and
regular
Add an article
a regular
show examples
award
Change the noun form
awards
show examples
 like scholarships,bursaries and support scheme.If Government is mainly supporter
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Education, there will be less burden for parents so that some political campaigns try to persuade the voters to vote them for improvement of
learning
Add an article
the learning
show examples
 environment as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
longterm
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
 planning
such
 as funding for classroom facilities,to increase
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of lecturers like one to one and small group teaching sessions and practical training combined with
problem based
Add a hyphen
problem-based
show examples
 laboratory sessions.All of these techniques and study methods are very efficient to boost up the standard of Literacy and
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion,both sides can face advantages and disadvantages so I believe
this
 decision
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on
individual
Add an article
the individual
show examples
 but I can
gurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 that whoever encourage and
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 the education pathway, the benefits they will get is very high and it's a huge worth to do it.
Submitted by myamonyee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: