IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In ancient times, major population thrived in a small communities where everyone knew each other. In these days, most of the people live in urban areas such as capital cities and are not much aware of other people around them. What were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small communities?

Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 tended to live in a small population, in the past, when everyone had a smaller circle of acquaintances.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 living in bigger cities prefer to be
individualism
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individualistic
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 than
miggling
Correct your spelling
mingling
giggling
 with each other. Some debats that
inhabitting
Correct your spelling
inhabiting
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in
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apply
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the sub-urban have more benefits outweighing the drawbacks. Overviews of both sides
is
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are
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 still needed in order to discuss
this
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 issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
, being an anti-social person for
introvert
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introverted
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people
Use synonyms
 becomes the best option to stay insane. Living in a small
communities
Fix the agreement mistake
community
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 makes everyone know each other which can be tiring for individualists. In regard to
this
Linking Words
 reason, being a suburban dweller
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 more disadvantages for them.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
introvert
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introverted
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people
Use synonyms
 think that less socializing
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 their
live
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lives
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become
Verb problem
apply
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more peaceful since they do not need to spend their energy
to talk
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talking
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 to each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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. Imagine how will they manage their mind when he is pushed to
miggle
Correct your spelling
mingle
 with some of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
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, he need to think
what
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about what
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 will be the next topic to discuss,
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
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 about
Add an article
the manner
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manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
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, etc.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
inhabit in
Wrong verb form
inhabiting
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smaller communities brings
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 for individualist
people
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 being
sub-urban
Correct article usage
a sub-urban
show examples
 dweller
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
disadavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
, the benefits of living in smaller communities can not be denied.
Human
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Humans
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is
Verb problem
apply
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a social
creature
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creatures
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 who need to interact with
other human being
Change the wording
another human being
other human beings
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.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 hate to feel lonely and be abandoned in the community. In
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to care
each
Change preposition
for each
show examples
 other and
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that everyone is their family when they live in a neighborhood.
In
Change preposition
For
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 example, when we live in a bigger city, it can be guaranteed that even living
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 same floor in an apartment, we do not know most of our neighbors.
To sum up
Linking Words
, even
some
Correct word choice
though some
show examples
 urban
people
Use synonyms
 tend to live alone in a big city, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in a suburb
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 more benefits
such
Linking Words
 as not being lonely and having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better mental health.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a coherent structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. A well-organized essay should have a clear introduction with a thesis statement, body paragraphs with topic sentences that support the thesis, and a conclusion that summarizes and restates the main points. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and each sentence should logically follow the previous one to ensure flow. To improve, focus on creating a more pronounced structure in your essay by using linking words and clear paragraphing.
task achievement
While you have attempted to address the topic, your response is only partial and sometimes off-topic. To improve your score, ensure you directly answer the question by providing a balanced consideration of the advantages and disadvantages of living in small communities. Add more in-depth analysis and detail, and make sure your points are relevant and well-explained. Include a conclusion that clearly states your overall point of view and relates back to the prompt.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Sense of community
  • - Belonging
  • - Support networks
  • - Crime rates
  • - Social cohesion
  • - Access to nature
  • - Open spaces
  • - Traffic
  • - Pollution
  • - Cost of living
  • - Decision-making
  • - Problem-solving
  • - Job opportunities
  • - Diversity
  • - Cultural experiences
  • - Privacy concerns
  • - Gossip
  • - Modern amenities
  • - Services
  • - Social pressure
  • - Expectation to conform
  • - Educational facilities
  • - Healthcare facilities
  • - Personal growth
  • - Development
What to do next:
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