In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

The crime rate has not only been inclining but the intensity of wrongdoing has

also

been increasing all over the world for the

last

few decades. There are multiple reasons for

this

development that are not easy to deal with. I believe that there are many pragmatic solutions available in order to reduce violent

crimes

To begin

with, there are enormous causes for a boom in criminal attitudes. Unemployment is a major reason, as people need money to fulfil their daily requirements if they are unable to earn that amount,

then

they commit

crimes

to get it.

For example

, if a skilled man is not able to get a job

then

he would use his skill in a bad way to earn his bread and butter.

Furthermore

, with the recent advancements in communication particularly in electronic media and social media, criminals learn new ways

such

as documentaries about

crimes

on different TV channels demonstrate how

crimes

happen and the people who have malicious intentions misuse them. Regarding the remedies of booming the crime rate, everyone in society has to play their roles.

First

and foremost, governments must take solid measures to decrease joblessness,,

meanwhile

Add a comma

,meanwhile

show examples

they should

also

provide financial assistance for the citizens who have low income.

Secondly

, the media need to run various campaigns against

felony

Fix the agreement mistake

felonies

show examples

rather than promoting them in programs. Authorities should have a strict check on the material which is broadcasted on TV shows.

Last

but not the least, rehabilitation facilities should be enhanced for habitual criminals which help them to come of violent psychology. In conclusion, I believe that unemployment and easy access to the criminal literature are major causative factors for the robust increase in the crime rate.

On the other hand

, social and economic reforms can halt

this

progression.

Submitted by drmehmoodahmed33 on Sat Jul 10 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crime rate
violent crimes
socioeconomic factors
law enforcement
technology
education
employment
drug abuse
alcohol abuse
poverty
inequality
effectiveness
investing
job creation
social support
community engagement

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In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

the main reasons for immigration and emmigration in the uk in 2007

Compared to the past, more people are now studying abroad because it is more convenient and cheaper than before. Do you think this is beneficial to the foreign student’s home country?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. .