IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?

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Every year, several
languages
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 die out, a phenomenon that elicits diverse opinions on
its
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their
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 importance. Some people argue that fewer
languages
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 would simplify life and improve global
communication
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,
while
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 others believe that the
loss
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 of
languages
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 erodes cultural
heritage
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 and
identity
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.
This
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 essay explores both sides of the argument and offers a nuanced perspective on the significance of
language
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 preservation. One of the primary arguments in
favor
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favour
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 of having fewer
languages
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 is the facilitation of global
communication
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. As English increasingly becomes a global lingua franca, it enhances international understanding and cooperation. Tourists,
for instance
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, can travel more easily when a common
language
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 reduces
language
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 barriers, encouraging tourism and fostering cross-cultural interactions.
Moreover
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, a common
language
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 can create more economic opportunities. It simplifies business operations, reduces translation costs, and boosts international trade by making it easier for companies to operate across borders. For
language
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 learning institutions, the dominance of a global
language
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 like English can attract more students eager to learn a
language
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 that opens up vast employment opportunities. Educational systems
also
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 benefit from fewer
languages
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. Standardizing curriculums and assessments becomes more straightforward, and resources can be focused on fewer
languages
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, improving the quality of education. In technology and science, a common
language
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 accelerates innovation and collaboration, as researchers can share and build on each other's work without
language
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 barriers. Despite the practical
benefits
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, the
loss
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 of
languages
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 comes with significant cultural and social costs.
Languages
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 are intrinsic to cultural
identity
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 and
heritage
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, encapsulating traditions, histories, and values. When a
language
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 dies, the unique cultural insights and wisdom it carries are often lost forever.
This
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 diminishes the richness of human diversity and the collective knowledge of humanity.
Language
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 is
also
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 a crucial aspect of personal and group
identity
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. Losing one's
language
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 can lead to a
loss
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 of community and individual
identity
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, resulting in social and psychological issues. For elderly and rural populations who may not speak dominant
languages
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 well,
this
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 can lead to marginalization, making it difficult for them to access services and participate fully in society.
Furthermore
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, bilingualism and multilingualism offer cognitive
benefits
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,
such
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 as improved executive function, problem-solving skills, and mental flexibility. The reduction in
language
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 diversity could limit these advantages, depriving individuals of the mental
benefits
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 associated with learning and using multiple
languages
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.
While
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 the practical
benefits
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 of fewer
languages
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 are significant, the cultural and social costs of losing
languages
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 are profound and irreplaceable. It is essential to find a balance that acknowledges both the need for global
communication
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 and the importance of preserving linguistic diversity. Encouraging multilingualism alongside a global lingua franca like English can help achieve
this
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 balance, allowing societies to reap the
benefits
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 of ease of
communication
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while
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 preserving their cultural
heritage
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. In conclusion, the debate over the importance of
language
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loss
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 is complex, with valid arguments on both sides.
While
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 a common
language
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 can simplify global
communication
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 and create economic opportunities, the
loss
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 of
languages
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also
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 means losing cultural
heritage
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,
identity
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, and valuable knowledge. Striking a balance between these competing interests is crucial for fostering a globally connected yet culturally rich and diverse world.

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coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured and each paragraph transitions smoothly, consider using more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between your points. This will ensure an even clearer and more coherent argument.
task achievement
You have covered the task comprehensively and your ideas are clear and well-developed. However, incorporating a few more specific examples or case studies could further strengthen your argument and support your points better.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by presenting the issue and stating the two opposing views. This provides a strong foundation for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and presents a balanced view, which is crucial for a nuanced discussion. This helps in leaving a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
You have done a commendable job in covering all aspects of the task prompt. Your response is thorough and you have clearly elaborated on your ideas which shows a deep understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic diversity
  • cultural heritage
  • global communication
  • economic integration
  • homogenization
  • unique perspectives
  • translation tools
  • educational platforms
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • cognitive benefits
  • problem-solving skills
What to do next:
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