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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #part #time #smartphone #development
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Mobile phones have become
integral
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an integral
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 part of the lives of human beings.In
Correct article usage
the
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present day
Add a hyphen
present-day
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 and age, a multitude of
people
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are
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is
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 sticking to their mobile devices and spending most of their spare
time
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 with
it
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them
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. The aim of
this
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 essay is to review the causes
for
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of
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this
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 addiction and analyse whether
this
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 is beneficial or not. The
fundamnetal
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fundamental
 cause for the population getting glued to their phones is
lack
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a lack
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 of companions.That means in
this
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 busy world, no one is free and
have
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has
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 mere
time
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 to talk and mingle with others.
Hence
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, individuals are getting solace through these digital devices.
Secondly
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, the applications in these devices make them
addcited
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addicted
 and consume their
time
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.
For example
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, social media websites like Whatsapp and Facebook contain a
lot
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 of information and the folks continuously check the messages from their friends and spend a
lot
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 of
time
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 there.
Therefore
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, human beings are getting too much engaged with these
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smartphones
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smart phones
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smartphones
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. Even though
people
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 are able to mingle with their friends and share a
lot
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 of
infromation
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information
, they are facing a
lot
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 of health problems due to
this
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 increased screen
time
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 .
For instance
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, human eyes are so
sentive
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sensitive
 and the blue light that comes from the mobile is not all good for our eyes and
a
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apply
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worldwide research has shown that
morethan
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more than
 five hours of engagement to a digital device in a day can
severly
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severely
 impact the retina of the eye.
Therefore
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 ,
people
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 should restrict their
time
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 with these gadgets. To conclude, the essay has discussed the reasons behind the habit of
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overusing
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over using
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overusing
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 the phone in
the
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apply
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people
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 and had
also
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 outlined the drawbacks of the usage.Overall,
this
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 practice is shown to give
more
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a more
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 negative impact on
the
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apply
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humans
Change to a genitive case
human's
humans'
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 health.
Submitted by Sri on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital addiction
  • instant gratification
  • multifunctional
  • connectivity
  • social networking
  • online services
  • self-expression
  • entertainment options
  • instant access
  • educational resources
  • communication tools
  • virtual interactions
  • distracted living
  • technological dependence
What to do next:
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