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Band 4.5

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#phones #internet #people #development
Technology has taken a huge place in every individual's life
that is
 developing day by day. Mobile
phone
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phones
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 and
internet
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the internet
show examples
 are two popular examples of technology.
However
, according to my perspective merits are more than demerits about which I will shed light
in
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on in
show examples
upcoming
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the upcoming
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 paragraph.
To begin
 with its positive side,
Smart phone
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Smartphone
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 and
internet
is
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are
show examples
 faster and reliable resources which
helps
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help
show examples
 individuals to communicate with kith and kins easily wherever they are.
for example
people
 prefer to do free audio and video calls through social media
such
 as
whatsapp
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WhatsApp
Whatsapp
,
facebook
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Facebook
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,
instagram
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Instagram
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 and so on. these aspects
has
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have
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 made our life easier and improved our relationship even with those
people
 who are
thousand
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a thousand
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 miles away from us.
Moreover
,
people
 can share their personal media like
as
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apply
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pictures, documents,
song
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songs
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, videos and etcetera just in few seconds with each other.
Similarly
, these both technical advancements are
Add an article
a source
the source
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source
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sources
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 of vast knowledge and medium of business as unlimited opportunities are available on
internet
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the internet
show examples
 which can help any person to make
there
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their
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 identity unique in the world and become
successful
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a successful
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 person. Apart from
this
,
smart phones
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smartphones
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 provide
opportunity
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an opportunity
the opportunity
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 to get distinct opportunities from
itself
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themselves
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 as it is
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multi-purpose
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multi
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a multi
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 purpose
device
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devices
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 having entertainment, photo and video capturing, education, games and communication facilities which is
the
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apply
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way too beneficial for individuals.
However
, there are some minor flaws in
such
kind
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kinds
show examples
 of technical things
for example
 there are some harmful websites or
internet
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the internet
show examples
 that can hack the personal stuff of
people
 by corrupting their computers or phones. While
,
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apply
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 overuse of mobile phone leads to weak
eye sight
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eyesight
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that is
 quite critical for health as well.
Hence
, it can be summarized that these resources are providing us comfort
as well as
Add the comma(s)
, as well as easier lifestyle that is why we should use it according to our need and government,
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easier
Add an article
the easier
an easier
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 lifestyle
that is
 why we should use it according to our need and government should
also
 ban those sites which may harm the personal data
also
 the feelings of
people
.
Submitted by Welkin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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