These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Technology has taken a huge place in every individual's life
that is
Linking Words
developing day by day. Mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
are two popular examples of technology.
However
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, according to my perspective merits are more than demerits about which I will shed light
in
Change preposition
on in
show examples
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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paragraph.
To begin
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with its positive side,
Smart phone
Correct your spelling
Smartphone
show examples
and
internet
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
faster and reliable resources which
helps
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help
show examples
individuals to communicate with kith and kins easily wherever they are.
for example
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people
Use synonyms
prefer to do free audio and video calls through social media
such
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as
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
Whatsapp
,
facebook
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Facebook
show examples
,
instagram
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Instagram
show examples
and so on. these aspects
has
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have
show examples
made our life easier and improved our relationship even with those
people
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who are
thousand
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a thousand
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miles away from us.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
can share their personal media like
as
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apply
show examples
pictures, documents,
song
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songs
show examples
, videos and etcetera just in few seconds with each other.
Similarly
Linking Words
, these both technical advancements are
Add an article
a source
the source
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source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
of vast knowledge and medium of business as unlimited opportunities are available on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
which can help any person to make
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
identity unique in the world and become
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
person. Apart from
this
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,
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
provide
opportunity
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an opportunity
the opportunity
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to get distinct opportunities from
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
as it is
Add a hyphen
multi-purpose
show examples
multi
Correct article usage
a multi
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purpose
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
having entertainment, photo and video capturing, education, games and communication facilities which is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way too beneficial for individuals.
However
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, there are some minor flaws in
such
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kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of technical things
for example
Linking Words
there are some harmful websites or
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
that can hack the personal stuff of
people
Use synonyms
by corrupting their computers or phones. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
overuse of mobile phone leads to weak
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
that is
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quite critical for health as well.
Hence
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, it can be summarized that these resources are providing us comfort
as well as
Add the comma(s)
, as well as easier lifestyle that is why we should use it according to our need and government,
show examples
easier
Add an article
the easier
an easier
show examples
lifestyle
that is
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why we should use it according to our need and government should
also
Linking Words
ban those sites which may harm the personal data
also
Linking Words
the feelings of
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Welkin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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