IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#live #performance #play #concert #event #television #support
Although
 going to see a live
event
,
such
 as a play, concert or football match, is considered to be more enjoyable than watching it on
television
, I do not agree with
this
.
This
 essay will discuss why I prefer the screen in my living room.
Firstly
, watching an
event
 on
television
 has no stress involved, because it only requires to have the device turned on and seat comfortably in front of it, which means not having to travel to a busy venue, queue with thousands of other people even for the toilet.
Furthermore
,
this
 is a great way to save money that would have been needed for tickets and travel cards.
For example
, the Euro 2020 final was played at Wembley, in London, not far from home,
nevertheless
, we watched the game on
television
 and had a great time.   The
television
 offers the best view of the
event
, which is the most important point, because of the operator who has the freedom to move around to capture the images.
In other words
, watching on
television
 is like getting the best possible seat, where you can see things that you could easily miss
otherwise
.
For instance
, so many times I went to a live
event
 and ended up without even seeing the performer, because of being too far from the stage, which is a risk you never take with the
television
.  In spite of the statement affirming that attending a live performance is more enjoyable, I would rather watch the same
event
 on
television
 because you have the best view of the show and avoid busy and stressful situations.
Submitted by antonblack31 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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