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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the past, people lived in the same place in their life. However, it is common that now people change their place and often live in different places during their life. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In the past,
people
Use synonyms
 often spent their entire lives in the same place,
while
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 today it is common for
individuals
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 to move to various locations throughout their lives.
This
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 essay will explore the reasons behind
this
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trend
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 and argue that it represents a positive development.
Firstly
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, several factors contribute to
people
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’s increased mobility, including job opportunities, cultural experiences, and personal relationships. One of the primary reasons for relocating is the pursuit of better job prospects.
For instance
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, in countries like Thailand, where the minimum wage might be lower,
individuals
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 may move to places with higher salaries to improve their standard of living. An example of
this
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 is a friend of mine who worked as a waiter in the United States and earned significantly more than he would have in Thailand.
Additionally
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, personal relationships can
also
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 prompt relocation.
People
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 often move to be with their partners, especially if they come from different countries.
This
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 enables them to build a life together despite the geographical distance.
Furthermore
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,
this
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trend
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 of moving frequently has several positive implications. It facilitates cultural exchange and enriches societies by blending diverse traditions and practices. As
people
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 from different backgrounds live together, they contribute to a multicultural environment, which is reflected in the variety of cuisines, festivals, and languages seen in many cities around the world.
For example
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, the global influence of American technology has led to the adoption of innovations
such
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 as subways in Thailand, which were previously less common.
Additionally
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, living in different countries often improves
individuals
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' language skills and cultural awareness, enhancing their ability to communicate effectively on an international scale. In conclusion, the
trend
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 of
people
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 frequently changing their places of residence is driven by factors
such
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 as better job opportunities and personal relationships.
This
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 development brings about significant benefits, including cultural enrichment and improved language skills.
Therefore
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, I believe that the increased mobility of
individuals
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 is a positive and progressive
trend
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 that contributes to the development of a more interconnected and diverse world.

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic effectively and provides relevant examples, you could enhance task achievement by integrating a broader range of examples or addressing potential counterarguments. Doing so would create a more nuanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider including more transitional phrases to ensure a smoother flow between ideas. This will help to make the logical structure of your essay even clearer.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and effective introduction and conclusion, which are both well-structured and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
The main points in your essay are well-supported with specific examples, particularly the mention of job opportunities and personal relationships motivating relocations.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Relocation
  • Globalization
  • Career advancement
  • Personal growth
  • Technological advancements
  • Mobility
  • Urbanization
  • Quality of life
  • Cultural diversity
  • Family dynamics
  • Work-life balance
  • Environmental conditions
  • Global mobility
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Lifestyle preferences
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