IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too valuable or too important to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
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While some individuals believe that it is beneficial to share as
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
mush
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
information
 as possible in
scientific
Correct article usage
the scientific
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, business and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic world, others believe that
information
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 too valuable or too important should not be
share
Correct your spelling
shared
show examples
 freely. From my perspective,more and more
information
 should be published, but
valuable
Add an article
the valuable
show examples
 and important
information
 should not. On the one hand, there are some advantages in sharing as much
information
 as possible in scientific research, business and
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
 world.
Firstly
, when it comes to scientific research, articles and researches are the source of inspiration for scientists. The more
information
 about researches published, the more ideas scientists will have which will lead to more discoveries.
Moreover
, when it comes to businesses
,
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apply
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 when countries have easy access to many new products, they can better
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their residents` needs. They can import goods and products which
are not exist
Change the verb form
do not exist
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 in their countries.
In addition
, publishing many data about new fields and majors or new institutes let students have better chooses about their education. It is more likely for students to find a major related to their talents and passion.
On the other hand
, valuable
information
 and important data should not be published freely because of security issues. Some
information
 about people`s identity which includes address, phone,
bank
Add an article
the bank
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 account should not be shared freely because thefts will identify them easily. When people should pay a lot of money to have access to them, it is less possible that these data are identified by thefts.
Moreover
, some
information
 about
military
Correct article usage
the military
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 should not be shared, because it decreases the security of countries and their enemies would understand their strategies. In conclusion, while I believe that sharing
many
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much
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information
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 advantages, from my perspective because of security reason valuable and important
information
 should not be shared freely.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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