IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#studies #teenagers #person #case #measures #time
Mainly the teenagers never prefer socialising online because they need to make a contact with each other and interact
one
 on
one
. We elaborate the ideas, through online we can't express our feelings accurately. In
this
 pandemic not allowed to make contact with each other, so the teenagers were socialising online. What socialising means is the way they
using
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
 their social media
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
The main effect of using a mobile was all of them can be distracted from their studies and goals. During the current situation all were collaborating through online features were
latest
Change the article
the latest
show examples
 technology made like teams, zoom, Google meet. From those ,platforms we can call virtually. Where we can learn a lot of
things
 from
one
 place by not moving. By meeting virtually we can do the projects and chit chat with friends. The war we were in, keeps us at home ,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 we stopped our work and studies. BY using the latest techniques we all meeting virtually. The measures that had to be taken by a teenager was, use mobile for their education and entertainment
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 only not much more. In online we found everything we need, we can socializing learn and joy and more like teaching new
things
 and learning new
things
 from others. We were meeting unknown people, they
interested
Add a missing verb
were interested
show examples
 in exchanging languages from that software we all learn new
things
 daily.
One
 of my friends thought that meeting socialises in the very version of communication that were Omegle, clubhouse, Instagram , Facebook and many more like these.
Submitted by ravitejakotharu7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • curate
  • engaging
  • social anxiety
  • digital detox
  • tech-free zones
  • mentorship programs
  • real-world interactions
  • face-to-face settings
  • in-person participation
  • promote
  • deter
  • foster
  • appeal
  • perspectives
  • detox challenges
  • community service
What to do next:
Look at other essays: