Some people think that charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own country. But others believe that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
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have distinct opinions as to whether charity companies ought to
support
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solely their own country or should help everyone , despite where they live.
While
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both schools of thought can be true in their own right, I argue with the latter . Aid agency should promote only their native
countries
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.
That is
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to say, starting to develop the own country may help to reduce the poverty level.
For example
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, every corner of the world could find
people
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who need help both financially and physically. The government ought to
support
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their society
initially
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rather than international citizens.
As a result
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, it helps the nation to develop itself.
Therefore
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, supporting one's own country can bring considerable financial and physical benefits.
However
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, voluntary organisations could give a hand to international
people
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who need help.
In other words
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, some developed
countries
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may give a hand to others by donating.
For instance
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, in 2024, an earthquake crushed the city centres of Turkey , and their own charity companies were unable to help them enough.
However
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, voluntary organisations
such
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as
WHO
Correct article usage
the WHO
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and UNICEF helped improve the healthcare system and took responsibility for the victims.
Consequently
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, Turkey stood up consistently. Without international charity organisations, some
countries
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are not capable of promoting their society.
Thus
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, a charitable foundation may maintain other victim
countries
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within
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with
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financial and medical
support
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. In conclusion,
although
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it is reasonable for charities to prioritise helping
people
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in their own
countries
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, it is
also
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important to provide
support
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to those in need abroad.

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grammar
Fix many grammar errors and make each sentence clear and short so the reader can follow easily.
coherence
Use clear link words to show how ideas go from one point to the next.
examples
Give more strong examples that fit the point and stay on topic.
stance
You show a clear view that the later idea is better.
structure
The essay gives two sides and a main idea to each.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
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