In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks.

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #security

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

present time, CCTV is widely used in public areas in many cities for crime prevention.

Whereas

Linking Words

some humankind consider

this

Linking Words

measure to be an invasion of privacy, I contend that the advantages of using video

cameras

Use synonyms

surpass its disadvantages. On the one hand, there are several major reasons why some humans feel that

security

Use synonyms

systems should not be used in common areas.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they argue that surveillance

cameras

Use synonyms

observe people without permission.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, the public experiences less freedom and constantly feels watched by the higher authorities, causing increased pressure and negatively impacting their mental well-being.

In addition

Linking Words

, without a transparent and effective supervisory mechanism, surveillance systems may be utilized by relevant organizations for illegal or unethical purposes.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the data collected by these systems is at risk of leakage

due to

Linking Words

hacker attacks. If

this

Linking Words

information falls into the hands of criminals, both individuals and society may suffer serious consequences.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the benefits of

security

Use synonyms

cameras

Use synonyms

outweigh as compared to drawbacks. By

this

Linking Words

, I mean that videos in public areas give a sense of

security

Use synonyms

to everyone. Tacitly, criminals think once before doing a crime publicly. Resultantly, criminality has decreased in comparison to the past time.

For instance

Linking Words

, countries like Canada and China have facilities of

cameras

Use synonyms

in gathering spots.

Thus

Linking Words

, police can easily catch criminals and

this

Linking Words

leads to a low rate of gangsterism.

Moreover

Linking Words

, cases of bombing, harassment and robbery nowadays are reducing.

As a result

Linking Words

, If any person tries to attempt

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of activities, it

caught

Add a missing verb

is caught

show examples

by cops easily with the use of video

cameras

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

security

Use synonyms

cameras

Use synonyms

do not give privacy

according to

Linking Words

some folk but I opine that the advantages of these are more as compared to disadvantages like lowering criminality and lawbreaking.

Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on Sun Aug 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. However, you should aim to present a more balanced view of the opposing arguments by providing more specific details.

coherence cohesion

Make sure all your arguments are fully developed and linked coherently with appropriate conjunctions and transitional phrases. Some of the ideas could be better connected to ensure smooth flow.

language and grammar

There are a few grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. Work on sentence structure and grammar for better clarity. For example, 'As a result, If any person tries to attempt these kind of activities, it caught by cops easily with the use of video cameras.' could be improved to 'As a result, if any person tries to engage in such activities, they are easily caught by the police with the use of video cameras.'

task achievement

Your points are clear and you present a balanced argument, supporting your stance with examples.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, and the main points are generally well-supported.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized, and each paragraph flows to the next logically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

297 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Surveillance cameras
Public safety
Deterrent
Evidence collection
Apprehend perpetrators
Public spaces
Invasion of privacy
Civil liberties
Abuse of power
Misuse
Cost implications
Monitoring
Maintenance
Essential services
Justice system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree
Some people argue that providing parents with necessary parenting techniques is the most effective way to cope with increasing rates of juvenile delinquency. From my perspective, joint efforts from families and schools are needed to curb those heightened concerns.
4.5
band
School children are becoming far too dependent on computers and this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, most children are using computers or any other various types of technology for studying, moreover an enormous number of schools prefer tablets for their pupils, rather than paper. I believe, that depending on technology can cause a lot of problems. Firstly, writing skills develop our brain cells, furthermore, it is the basic human skill for living, as well as reading. Dependence on computers can lead to a decrease in traditional literacy skills, such as handwriting, reading regular physical books and spelling, caused by the existence of T9. This leads to unformulated cognitive development and memory retention differently than digital engagement. Nevertheless, the existence of places like libraries or reading clubs is in danger of disappearance. However, computers are valuable tools for learning that can enhance and diversify education. For instance, teachers can easily and fast find needed information and present it to the students. Despite this, all types of education can...
6
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are oving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
At present, economically difficult communities in remote areas migrate to urban areas in many nations, hence, the number of people residing in villages is dropping.This essay will examine negativities such as environmental pollution and job scarcity in big cities, therefore, In my point of view, I believe it is a negative growth.
8
band
some people believe the government should spend money building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others however think that building more and wider roads is a better way to reduce the traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People hold different views about whether train and subway lines should be built by the government or whether constructing more roads is one of the effective methods to ease the traffic jams. While many people suppose that building wider roads can be the best solution to decrease the traffic jams, I would argue that spending money to construct public transportation.
7.5
band
Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?
Global warming, caused primarily by human activities, has become a pressing issue with far-reaching consequences for the environment. This essay will explore the effects of global warming on the environment and argue that urgent action is required to mitigate its detrimental impacts.

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks.

Fully explain your ideas

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers and this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are oving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

some people believe the government should spend money building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others however think that building more and wider roads is a better way to reduce the traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?