IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Stress is becoming main cause of disease ,what are the reasons and give your opinion?

#stress #disease
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Anxiety has been becoming serious
problems
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problem
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 for mankind as compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
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.High desires and limiting working hours are the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
stress
Use synonyms
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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To combat
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these issues ,there are some possible measures which will
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 to decrease the
stress
Use synonyms
 level
amongs
Correct your spelling
among
amongst
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. There are numerous reasons,which provokes the
stress
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 level.
Firstly
Linking Words
, heavy work pressure that
people
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 have to complete any specific task or
projects
Fix the agreement mistake
project
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 before
given
Correct article usage
a given
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 deadline ,puts a load on the employee's mind .As a
reaults
Correct your spelling
result
results
,they would get depressed and stressed.A survey
revelead
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revealed
 by Uk government ,in which they found 66%
people
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 living stressful
life
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 ,as they have
hectic
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a hectic
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 work schedule and fails to maintain the balance between professional and personal
lives
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 ,which would
affects
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affect
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 their families
lives
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.
Moreover
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, now
people
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 having high ambitions in their
life
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 ,they want to get everything
such
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 as
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
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 career and luxurious lifestyle. When they are unable to meet these requirements ,
sometime
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sometimes
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 they can choose
wrong
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the wrong
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 path like gambling ,take a debt and loan and
perpetrat
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perpetrate
perpetrated
perpetrator
 serious crime ,which could be
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 for their personality and their future will be collapse. To tackle
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 issues,there some plausible measures,
workplace
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the workplace
a workplace
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 should be free from
strees
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stress
trees
,it makes
duty
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the duty
show examples
 of employers , to distribute the works equally among the employees ,which may
helps
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help
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 to reduce the burden on each individual and create a soothing ambience on the
work place
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workplace
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, which would
helps
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help
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 to improve the productivity level.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
government
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the government
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 should
oragnize
Correct your spelling
organize
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stress
Correct article usage
a stress
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 management campaign ,in which they
addresses
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address
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the
people
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, how to
Correct your spelling
cope
show examples
cop
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cope
show examples
 up with the
stress
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 and provides
magzines
Correct your spelling
magazines
 on
stress
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 management. To conclude, it is undeniable ,
people
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 easily get anxious and nervous ,due to heavy workloads and high achievement in their
lives
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.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there are some measures ,which they can implements in their
life
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 and
lives
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 stressfree
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Ripan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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