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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #sports #role #society #leisure #activity
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Use synonyms
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
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 activities are just happy for some
people
Use synonyms
 while being highly appreciated as an important social
contribuile
Correct your spelling
contribute
contribution
contributor
. in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 both arguments are reasonable but the latter is more convincing.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Add an article
the
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
 surely
have
Change the verb form
has
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 entertaining values for some
people
Use synonyms
, but just that. many
researches
Change the wording
types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
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 have provided
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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 that playing
sport
Use synonyms
 help individuals release stress and ameliorate their emotional situation.In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
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 a winning moment in a competition means satisfaction and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of achievement.
Besides
Linking Words
, outdoor games assist participants to make new social
Use synonyms
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 and expand their friendship circle.
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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sport
Use synonyms
 may not have a priority in the timetable of busy
people
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 they can skip an exercise and spend time on more important duties,
such
Linking Words
 as an exam at school or a meeting at work.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
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 sportive activities play an indispensable role for several
people
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 contribute important values to a nation is economy and culture. On the one hand, there are more and more
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 players deciding to become professional athletes and earn their living through
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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. In reality, A good football player of millions of dollars per year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they found start-up
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 and provide services like training youngsters who have talent in the field.
Therefore
Linking Words
, sports not only ensure
Correct article usage
the
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financial earnings of individuals but
also
Linking Words
 share a large part
in
Change preposition
of
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national
Add an article
the national
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 budget.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, sportive games have played an important role in establishing diplomatic
Use synonyms
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 internationally. Through organising physical activities together,
Add an article
the government
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government
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governments
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 of different countries have chances to reinforce their political
relationship
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 and citizens could
also
Linking Words
 approach and exchange with other
culture
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cultures
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.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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 the largest
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 game in the world,
Olympic
Correct your spelling
Olympics
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, is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evidence of the close
relationship
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 and peace situation among countries around five continents. in conclusion,
Add an article
the
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
 may be a Leisure activity for a group of citizens but it is
also
Linking Words
 an irreplaceable factor for society with its economic values and incentives for international cooperation.
Submitted by Thanh xuân on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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