Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of this pressure and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?
The importance of acquiring different credentials is becoming more prevalent than ever among youngsters, exerting an additional burden on them. It is my firm belief that there are some solid reasons for the occurrence of these trends and it is indeed possible to take precautionary measures to diminish the significance of these perspectives.
Before embarking on the meticulous explanation, It is worth noting that Globalization has entirely reshaped the way juveniles are being evaluated in accordance with their qualifications. Owing to the competition even between the children, they now have to put excessive effort to stand out from the rest.
Furthermore
, this
has led kids to compete in a diminutive market for a limited number of places in distinctive sectors like education, social and even commercial. For instance
, children in Japan are now experiencing the highest rate of suicide commitments in the world due to
the overwhelming demands from society.
In my view, promoting a balanced lifestyle in education centres is one the best solutions to handle this
issue, since they are more likely to engage with the stressor factors that trigger these events. On the other hand
, schoolers must be taught how to set realistic goals in alignment with chasing them in order to be successful later in life.
To conclude
, despite the fact that youngsters have to endure unbearable pressures from different positions, with the help of encompassing educational courses, they will gain certain skills that are deemed to be necessary to relieve the loads that are imposed on them.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that explanations connect clearly back to the main points to strengthen your argument. For example, when discussing the impact of globalization, make it more evident how this directly correlates to the specific pressures faced by children.
task achievement
Expand on the specific measures suggested to reduce pressure, providing a few more detailed examples. This can enhance the persuasive power of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure all ideas are thoroughly explored to show clear and logical progression. Avoid over-generalizing and provide more specificity where applicable.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well, providing a good overview of the main issues and indicating the structure.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the solutions discussed, providing a clear end to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of how global issues such as globalization influence local pressures on children. The linking of ideas is generally effective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.