Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

#childhood #obesity #world #people #adverts #food #sweets #snacks #schools #colleges

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In the developed countries, obesity in youngsters has increased at an alarming rate. Some people believe that advertisements for fast meals should be banned in academic institutions. I partially agree with

this

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statement because a ban on adverts in educational places will not eradicate the eating habits of fast cuisine.

To begin

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with, fast-food companies manipulate the minds of the young generation with advertisements. They use celebrities for their ads, when young minds watch the famous person eating the sweets or drinking the sugary products they attract towards it. By consuming these brands they become used to it and make it a habit.

For example

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, famous footballer Cristino Ronaldo refused to drink the coca-cola during an interview and the company suffered a billion dollars loss by his act. If these adverts are banned from academic institutions, adolescents will not be attracted to sugary products.

On the other hand

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, banning the promotion is not the ultimate act to stop newly developed minds from using it. They can watch the same ads on TV or the internet in their homes yet they can be attracted to junk foodstuff.

For instance

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, I was surprised when my 2 years old son noticed Pepsi in an ad on TV and he asked his mother to give him the same product from the fridge.

Furthermore

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, an awareness program should be launched about the drawbacks of canned production rather than just banning the adverts in academic places. Adolescents should be taught about the fatness issues which the young generation is suffering nowadays. To conclude,

such

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promotional activities should be banned completely from the vicinity of academic institutions as well as an awareness program should be launched to teach the side effects of unhealthy meals.

Submitted by azhar.javaid6 on Mon Jul 19 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
vulnerability
unethical
well-being
commercial gain
cafeteria options
nutritional programs
fast food advertisements
health impacts
influence
educational environment
promote healthier eating habits

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