Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?
Amidst the surge
of
Change preposition
in
price
in medications
, some of the citizens in developing countries
have failed to gain access to these medicines and
resulting in Correct word choice
apply
delay
in health in some patients. Fix the agreement mistake
delays
This
essay believes that this
issue should not be borne by the pharmaceutical industry by lowering their products
’ prices because it will compromise the quality of their products
and more importantly, it should be the government’s responsibility to ensure the accessibility of healthcare for their citizens.
The intention of drug companies to make their products
affordable for some developing countries
should not be a preferred idea because it will impact the efficacy of their products
. It is inevitable that some medications
require high-price
materials which makes the cost of selling are
so high. If these materials are not present, Unnecessary verb
apply
then
the products
’ qualities are at stake. For example
, a
post-op medication is known to be expensive because of its rare material substances, and when a company tries to lower the selling Correct article usage
apply
price
, they will cut the inclusion of these rare substances, therefore
, the quality of the medicine is compromised.
Moreover
, it is not the role of the pharmaceutical industry to make some medicines available for patients in developing countries
as this
is the government’s responsibility. Any government of any poor country should be liable for their nation’s well-being, and it could be done in some ways. For instance
, the health authority should create a subsidized program for the poor to cover the medicines required.
In conclusion, the expensive price
of some medications
has made some patients in developing countries
incapable of affording the products
, though this
essay believes that it should not be the pharmaceutical industry’s responsibility to regulate the price
to be lower because it could impact the quality of their products
due to
the exclusions of some chemical substances. Moreover
, it should be the authority’s liability to ensure the healthcare of its citizens by implementing a subsidized program where the poor community could have access to unlimited medications
.Submitted by nadillamntr on
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Task Achievement
Ensure to fully respond to all parts of the task statement. Your response suggests that pharmaceutical companies should not reduce prices, but consider also discussing the potential benefits to provide a balanced viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear, but further elaboration is needed to fully develop your argument. Consider adding more specific examples or data to strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clearer progression of ideas. While your essay is logically structured, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Use phrases like 'In addition to' or 'Furthermore' to better link your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Integrate a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will also help in making your essay more cohesive.
Task Achievement
When giving examples, ensure they are specific and directly support your main argument. While you provide examples, digging deeper into the details could better illustrate your point of view.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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