IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #countries #pleasure #believe #impact
Recently, more and more people tend to visit foreign
countries
 for relaxation. While part of society
assume
Change the verb form
assumes
show examples
 that travelling to other nations has a negative effect on the
countries
 that travelled to, in my opinion, I totally disagree with
this
 view.
Firstly
, I believe that travelling to foreign
countries
 has negative effects on the
countries
 travelled to is unrealistic. One explanation might be that foreign travellers have the possibilities to benefit the
countries
' economy.
For example
, to visit other
countries
, tourists will have to carry a certain amount of money with them because it is obvious that they are going to pay for the services that they use.
Besides
, there will be extra payment
such
 as souvenirs or leisure activities. Undoubtedly, visitors will not only spend two or three days but a whole week or even several months travelling, resting in a foreign country.
This
 suggests that those
countries
 can make a huge profit from just tourism.
Secondly
, apart from the practical concerns expressed above, I
also
 believe that visiting other nations can
also
 enhance the
countries
’ culture.
An evidence
Remove the article
Evidence
A piece of evidence
A shred of evidence
show examples
 is visitors will not come home without any story about their trips. Most people while travelling to foreign
countries
 will make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research about the places that they are going to visit. Plus, there are museums everywhere. That explains the spread of tradition from country to country. If a family comes back home from their journey, there is no doubt that they will tell their friends,
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
, relatives… about all the good features of that foreign
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
.
Besides
 getting profits from travellers, foreign
countries
also
 have them share their cultures. In short, it is obvious that travelling to different
countries
 in the world can bring those more than just one benefit.
Submitted by khuongquynhnga1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchanges
  • Global connections
  • Tourism boosts
  • Local economy
  • Over-tourism
  • Environmental degradation
  • Landmarks
  • Commodification of culture
  • Authentic cultural expressions
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Tourism infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Disrespect local customs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: