IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crime of violence increase.Capital punishment is essential to control violence in the society.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#punishment #lives #crime #violence #control #society
In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
society
 where capital
punishment
 is not taken into account,life would not be secured and
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 of
violence
 will be escalated .Capital
punishment
 is
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 to manage
violence
 .I agree with
this
 and the essay will support
this
 statement.
Firstly
,fear of death penalty stop
people
 from committing of offences,and with
this
 in mind
crime
 is not
torelated
Correct your spelling
related
to related
thus
 prevent
frequent
Add an article
a frequent
show examples
 large number of
crime
 in the
society
.
For example
,research done by
police
Add an article
the police
show examples
 department shows 10% of
develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
 country has death penalty as a
punishment
 for criminals.To bury the hatchet in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
,capital
punishment
 is of importance to secure
lives
 and
crime
 of
violence
.For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 fear,fear of death has facilitated reduced
crime
 and
people
lives
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 secured.
Secondly
,innocent
people
 would be wrongly convicted and executed,and with
this
,many
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
end
Change to a plural noun
ends
show examples
 up not being caught
then
 again we have no right to take other human life.
For
example
Add an article
an example
show examples
 of the research done in 2017 show that 50% of
crime
 are not reduced by capital
punishment
.For
this
 reason,capital
punishment
 is not the only solution to secure the
lives
 of
people
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 and lower
crime
 of
violence
. To conclude,criminals who make our
lives
 insecure and make
Add an article
the crime
a crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 of
violence
 escalate should be up for
punishment
,even though capital
punishment
 is not the only way to bring peace
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.There
other
Add a missing verb
are other
show examples
 options like prison and rehabilitation
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: