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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

IELTS essay, topic: Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In order to visit different
museums
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 around the world people have to pay a certain amount of
fee
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;
whereas
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, in some
museums
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,
entry
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 is free of cost. In my opinion, charging some sort of money in order to visit a
museum
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 has more benefits than drawbacks which I will discuss in
this
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 essay. The first and foremost positive of paying a
fee
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 for visiting a
museum
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 is that the money which is accumulated from
visitors
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 can be ploughed back into the maintenance of these
museums
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 or art galleries.
Museums
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 are known for the preservation of distinct artefacts and relics that have historical importance, and maintaining them from time to time is crucial to providing the best experience to tourists.
Also
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, most
museums
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 have a minimal amount of
fee
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 to be paid which is usually affordable,
for example
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, an
entry
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 ticket for the Melbourne
Museum
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 is only 15 dollars.
Moreover
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, the earnings from
museums
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 in the form of a nominal
fee
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 help to boost a country's economy, and can
also
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 be utilised to pay the salaries of the staff working there.
On the contrary
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, there are some drawbacks to charging
entry
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 tickets by
museums
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 as well.
Firstly
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,
museums
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 with high ticket prices sometimes fail to attract more
visitors
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;
however
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,
museums
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 that do not charge anything lure more people,
for example
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,
entry
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 to Brisbane
Museum
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 in Australia is free, and
this
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 way,
this
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museum
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 attracts thousands of
visitors
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 every year. In conclusion,
although
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 some
museums
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 attract more people as they have no
entry
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fee
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, I am still convinced that
museums
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 should charge a nominal amount of money from
visitors
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 as the advantages like economic benefits, and maintenance are more than their drawbacks.

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task achievement
Revise the introduction to provide a clearer overview of both perspectives in the debate. This will make the essay more balanced and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' 'on the other hand') to ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop the counter-argument in more detail to show a more thorough consideration of both sides of the issue.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant specific examples such as the entry fees for the Melbourne Museum and Brisbane Museum, which strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, and both are directly related to the task.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fees
  • Revenue generation
  • Facilities
  • Exhibits
  • Maintenance and preservation
  • Artifacts
  • Exclusive exhibitions
  • Temporary exhibitions
  • Overcrowding
  • Equitable access
  • Discounted rates
  • Educational experience
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