IELTS essay, topic: Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In order to visit different
museums
around the world people have to pay a certain amount of
fee
;
whereas
, in some
museums
,
entry
is free of cost. In my opinion, charging some sort of money in order to visit a
museum
has more benefits than drawbacks which I will discuss in
this
essay. The first and foremost positive of paying a
fee
for visiting a
museum
is that the money which is accumulated from
visitors
can be ploughed back into the maintenance of these
museums
or art galleries.
Museums
are known for the preservation of distinct artefacts and relics that have historical importance, and maintaining them from time to time is crucial to providing the best experience to tourists.
Also
, most
museums
have a minimal amount of
fee
to be paid which is usually affordable,
for example
, an
entry
ticket for the Melbourne
Museum
is only 15 dollars.
Moreover
, the earnings from
museums
in the form of a nominal
fee
help to boost a country's economy, and can
also
be utilised to pay the salaries of the staff working there.
On the contrary
, there are some drawbacks to charging
entry
tickets by
museums
as well.
Firstly
,
museums
with high ticket prices sometimes fail to attract more
visitors
;
however
,
museums
that do not charge anything lure more people,
for example
,
entry
to Brisbane
Museum
in Australia is free, and
this
way,
this
museum
attracts thousands of
visitors
every year. In conclusion,
although
some
museums
attract more people as they have no
entry
fee
, I am still convinced that
museums
should charge a nominal amount of money from
visitors
as the advantages like economic benefits, and maintenance are more than their drawbacks.
Submitted by harleenarora620 on

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task achievement
Revise the introduction to provide a clearer overview of both perspectives in the debate. This will make the essay more balanced and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' 'on the other hand') to ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop the counter-argument in more detail to show a more thorough consideration of both sides of the issue.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant specific examples such as the entry fees for the Melbourne Museum and Brisbane Museum, which strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, and both are directly related to the task.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fees
  • Revenue generation
  • Facilities
  • Exhibits
  • Maintenance and preservation
  • Artifacts
  • Exclusive exhibitions
  • Temporary exhibitions
  • Overcrowding
  • Equitable access
  • Discounted rates
  • Educational experience
What to do next:
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