IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The prevention of health problems and health illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One point which I believe to be pivotal is the fact that prevention is better than cure. By maintaining proper
health
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can find themselves living longer, leading healthy lives. It is better to be fit and fine as compared to following sick.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why
such
Linking Words
 prevention is essential and how government funding can help create
such
Linking Words
 measures.I completely agree with the above topic as
this
Linking Words
 is the best way to tackle the issues of deteriorating public healthiness.
Health
Use synonyms
 maintenance typically consists of methods or activities that seek to reduce the predictable problems and avoid medical treatments.
This
Linking Words
 practice
also
Linking Words
 brings down the number of diseases. Healthy living improves the lifestyle of human beings. If
people
Use synonyms
 do not follow healthy practices it can lead to disastrous consequences.
For example
Linking Words
, tobacco consumption is injurious to
health
Use synonyms
; it is best to avoid it. But many
people
Use synonyms
 do not follow
this
Linking Words
 advice.
Instead
Linking Words
 of chewing tobacco, if they do regular exercises and follow other fitness steps can significantly reduce their chances of illness or early death.
Therefore
Linking Words
 prevention care programs are required. On one hand, nations must allocate funds to help improve keep their population fine and fit .Every country must provide free regular
health
Use synonyms
 check-ups for their well beings, if the
people
Use synonyms
 do not follow the rule they should be fined.
For instance
Linking Words
, India being a vastly populated country has less than 3 % of its GDP spent on public well-being;
on the other hand
Linking Words
, countries like Canada spend more than 10 % of their GDP on public welfare
Thus
Linking Words
, because of the shortage of resources, In April
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 2021, India suffered the devastating loss of human lives during the
second
Linking Words
 wave of COVID-19. For these reasons alone, government funding is mandatory. To conclude,
People
Use synonyms
 are equally responsible for their own
health
Use synonyms
 and fitness as well as, following strict measures.
However
Linking Words
, there are some sections of the society that do not have enough funds to take the right steps from falling sick;
hence
Linking Words
 it is our government's responsibility to take care of their
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
 along with helping them lead our wellness life.
Submitted by niksmd1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: